finding my red brick road home

2010-07-18T18:03:00.002+08:00

Have you ever gone through life not knowing why, how or what life is about?

In the show 'Remember Me', it was mentioned that Ghandi said that

Whatever in life will be insignificant but it is important you do it anyway.

It is really important that we live life although it might be insignificant? Or is our lives really insignificant?

I have been pouring through interviews and articles of the cast of eclipse. Teen/young celebrities interest me. This is because their fame and fortune usually come so fast and sudden that they usually start to find ways to cope with it. Some turn to fast and easy relationships to hold on to. Some indulge in the attention. Some just become very deviant in their behavoir. Some just shrink away.

But the common thing I feel with all of them is that they all try to establish who they really are in the beginning. But when the reality of life sets in (that the masses don't want to know them for who they are), they start to either set up a false (media) front or they hide away.

Robert pattinson and kristen stewart have already been said to not be media darlings. I think they are just really to be who they really are. Or are they?

Time will tell. But I hope for the both of them, they will eventually retain the essence of themselves.

2010-05-30T08:05:00.002+08:00

50 known facts (or not) about agent J

Inspired by the evil lab rat.

On research interests

1. My real research interest began in JC with science focus when I did histology for the first time and I ran my first gel.

2. I was totally a science geek when I was younger. The evidence of it was the multiple seminars and workshops I signed up above my daily school workload.

3. My team won a national 2nd for some biology spelling bee when I was in secondary school. We won a samonella test kit. Cool eh?

4. My first love for biology gave way to social sciences sometime during my undergraduate years.

5. I can spend my whole day thinking about policies and societal issues. I can also spend my whole day reading journals about them.

6. I think I will get upset if I couldn't pursue my passion for social science (sociology) or teaching.

On conversations

7. Sometimes, all I want to talk about is sociology and my bimbo stuff. HAHA

8. I'm super good at making small talk.

9. Unfortunately(or not), my conversations usually deviate to Science or Academics.

10. I like to have conversations with total strangers. That is why interviews excite me as much as they scare me.

11. Strangers like to ask me for directions/advices/favours.

On idiosyncracies

12. I am very impatient and my limit to waiting for someone is 2 hours.

13. I often do not know what to eat and it pisses the hell out of mr meow.

14. I like to be touched by strangers and I will "rub off" the place I was accidentally touched in the train etc.

15. I like to read before I sleep just so that I can sleep faster.

16. I like to wash my vegetables off sauces my maid cook because i feel that vegetables should taste like so.

17. I like to dab dab my fried food with kitchen towel because I am super super super conscious about food.

18. I talk to myself in my head all the time also.

19. I don't like to eat durian because of its texture, taste and smell but I love papaya.

20. I eat like 5 times a day. Seriously.

21. I used to like sweet stuff. Not so much anymore.

22. I like to wear things that make me feel good and look good. Hack with the comfty theory. AHAHAHA

23. I have relative pitch.

24. I hate the sound of things scratching against the blackboard. Pukes. =l

25. I love the sound of high heels on the MPSH floor. Gives me a high.

26. I switch off during lectures most of the time when I lose interest.

27. I switch on the fan all the time and never the aircon cause I'm born in Singapore for a reason. I hate the cold.

28. I have a really bad sense of rhythm and timing. Poor Miss Wong. HAHA

29. I can usually tell when daph has been to the lab before me because the whole place looks like after math of WW2.

30. I hate jeans and tee shirt. Seriously.

31. All things including as handphones and laptops should be pink.

32. I like technology but I can't seem to get the hang of them. And i'm lazy to read the instructions therefore sometimes i have some functions that i know exist when its time to recontract.

33. I should never drive, i crash so often in video games you will be scared out of your pants if you're in the front seat with me.

34. I also have fun with words. But the fun mostly entail making fun of people. HAHA

35. I like smiling to myself for no good reason. I know weird.

36. I remember my lecture notes like audio tapes. I replay and hear the lecturers. If i skip lectures. DIE

37. I don't like lab coats. It a problematic piece of cloth.

38. I love smelling nice. I spray on an amazing amount of stuff everyday. When i forget i feel weird.

39. I like to fill and use my pipette tips randomly without any order. HAHHA

40. I am paranoid regarding some things. Like saving a document. I will press save a hundred time an hour.

41. Bathing is an enjoyment to me. So I bathe more than twice a day sometimes just to keep me calm and etc.

On thoughts and emotions

42. I don't often verbalize my emotions well. But when I do, it sounds weird.

43. I do not rationalize my emotions. I often just react to things.

44. I tend to go with my heart.

45. I'm very stubborn and defensive, especially when it comes to things I care about or like.

46. I often say things that i wonder where it comes from.

47. It disturbs me when people do not agree with some things i believe in. Inside my head during such arguements i will be banging the person against the wall. OPPS

On appearance

48. I think my best features are my long legs that does not go proportionate to my body. =l They are best for reaching for things my lab mates can't. HAHAHAHA

49. I like long hair because i can play with them and filter off bad smells on the train.

50. I have been told countless of times that I look younger than my younger sisters. YAYNESS. Its funny because I was told i look older than my age for ages. I think i reached the middle ground alr. YAY =D

What to expect during FYP

2010-05-20T11:41:00.010+08:00

[Disclaimer]This is a true account of my FYP story. It may defer person to person. Please do not use this as possible academic advice or for personal decisions.

Here goes...

First, I met my boss. The boss looked at me with a critical eye and with much skepticism. But the whole meeting seemed more like a Sunday brunch with friends. I then wait for the confirmation.

After that, a date was set for my first day. Knowing the evil was due for exams, the date was set at 5Th May 2009 when she'll be liberated from the horrors of her final year.

After that, the boring routine of labwork began and everyday is a cycle of happiness and disappointment. My feelings began to mix into a whirlwind of frustration, unhappiness, happiness and excitement.

Then more people joined me. And eventually a postdoc as well.

Then things started to become a little complicated. Labwork didn't stay as labwork anymore. It became mixed with the little political issue of favouritism. At first, it was obvious. The evil was the chosen one. Everything she says generated much respect and reverence from the boss. However, this scenario was short-lived.

Soon after, the truth came about that the real key to the boss heart was results. And results referred to any data related to the grant or possible publishable data. Disappointment soon followed with knowing the truth. Will my data ever matter? And mindless labwork with bitter thoughts soon flooded my days. I felt like everyday was just another useless day to fill up another page in my thesis (if I am lucky).

Favouritism surely did "spice up" my life in lab. When you hear of the boss only calling upon someone to discuss and further design and work on her part. Or that during lab meetings you only get a small section of the pie and after that get pushed to the back of the meeting and never heard from. Those were my days.

Sometimes the evil man inside me also suspected that the boss gave me a horrible set of examiners as a farewell gift as well. After all, he only made appointment with one of us for oral rehearsal and the many other things. Me? I was just the forgetten and unwanted child. I was most probably the one to get rid of ASAP. Or maybe I was only there just to contribute the 2000 dollars that went to the centrifuge.

To not be bitter with him seems impossible many a times. I'll never forget the day when he scolded me in his office for no good reason when i have been slaving over the design and work order we agreed on in his office.

Now,what reminds is a bad memory. After standing by and for him. I felt nothing i did was worth it. The labs session i committed myself to from 5Th May and giving up on my public holidays and weekends were quickly turned to dust and rendered as dirty and useless.

So if you ask me. Am I going to go back lab to find him anytime soon? No. Albeit heartless as i sound. I have had enough.

I'm going to bind my thesis and that will be it. I think i'm not even going to pass him directly. 10Th July 2010 come quick. And I'll severe all ties i have with the school.

Yes granted, there were nice people and people that really helped me. But this nightmare and the political war that ran inside me was extremely disturbing. It took control of my mind and soul for the past 1 yr.

It's time to leave from this wretched place. Goodbye. And never to return.

20Th May 2010
12.04pm

Updates before exams yr 4 sem 1

2009-11-09T22:44:00.002+08:00

It's been such a LONG time i've updated.

I cannot even remember what were the emo stuff that made me so upset the last time i blogged. Hmmm... Must be keng soon or something. Or is it???

Oh well.

Some (or many in fact) updates.

I have started honours year. It suck. Oh well, no surprise. But i'm lucky i guess. I now belong to a trio of lab slaves. Not to forget, my lab is like ancient china's forbidden city you know. One boss, one erm herm, one evil tai hou (the lab slaves horror) and all the maids (US!). HAHAHA

Okay, it's NOT that bad. The tai hou is just evil on the outside. The boss is a softie mostly. The erm herm is a technical know ALL. The maids are oh well as usual gossiping partners in crime.

And not to forget. My meow meow is still in NUS with me. So my stomach still gets fed, sadness still get comforted and printing still gets collect. (OPPS!) Oh well, cannot survive without him! MEOWGIE!

Ermm... Modules have been okay. Met new fun loving fellow MCB peeps. Jasmine is still here. YAY FOR TAT. They keep me sane in the lib and make sure my bladder won't die. HAHAHHA Oh, and my ass gets a seat. HAH

Oh well, tat's all for tat. Actually i have so much in life to thank for. Blues....go away for now.

I mean, nothing wrong to be upset sometimes. But you need to be pick yourself up and...

THINK OF THE NEXT TIME AND THING TO GET BACK AT MY EVIL MENTOR...

HAHA..

enjoy the post!

2009-04-23T14:47:00.001+08:00

I am like superbly upset...

and i donno how to justfy why or if i have the authority to be upset.

It's like a one sided affair....

2009-04-17T01:20:00.003+08:00

Musical: Les Miserables
Song: I Dreamed A Dream

There was a time when men were kind,
And their voices were soft,
And their words inviting.
There was a time when love was blind,
And the world was a song,
And the song was exciting.
There was a time when it all went wrong...

I dreamed a dream in time gone by,
When hope was high and life, worth living.
I dreamed that love would never die,
I dreamed that God would be forgiving.
Then I was young and unafraid,
And dreams were made and used and wasted.
There was no ransom to be paid,
No song unsung, no wine, untasted.

But the tigers come at night,
With their voices soft as thunder,
As they tear your hope apart,
And they turn your dream to shame.

He slept a summer by my side,
He filled my days with endless wonder...
He took my childhood in his stride,
But he was gone when autumn came!
And still I dream he'll come to me,
That we will live the years together,
But there are dreams that cannot be,
And there are storms we cannot weather!

I had a dream my life would be
So different from this hell I'm living,
So different now from what it seemed...
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed...

...

Life has indeed killed my dreams. And torn me so much apart.
God says that the life on earth is temporary and we're not meant to feel comfortable.
That is why we always set our eyes on heaven.
Oh God, can You then please take me soon to be with You.
So that all my struggles to lead a worthy life will soon end. And i can be in the comfort of You forever.

What is a life without a dream?

What is a dream without a life?

I worked so hard...in the end, does it even matter?
Why i even bother?

In my relationships, friendships, work, study, future...
God, is life on earth meant to be this tough?

Oh God, so help me. Please.

2009-04-09T15:44:00.002+08:00

I nearly cried in the library today.

In fact i already felt like doing so yst. Everything is just overwhelming...

I want to go away. To somewhere no one can find me.
I'm so sad i forgot how it is to cry and forget. I'm so sad, i forgot what is happiness and what was i doing at the beginning to pursue it.

2009-04-06T20:45:00.001+08:00

You ask me if I love you

And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
For who am I to judge you
In what you say or do
I'm only just beginning To see the real you

Chorus
And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes
And hide
I wanna hold you till I die
Till we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance's an honest strategy
Leaves me grappling with my pride
But through the years of maturity
Some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize-fighter
Still trapped within my youth

Chorus

At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly
At times I understand you
And I know how hard you try
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by
At times I think we're drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again....

Chorus

2009-04-06T20:16:00.001+08:00

Wikipedia:

Unrequited love is love that is not openly reciprocated, even though reciprocation is usually deeply desired. The beloved may or may not be aware of the admirer's deep affections.

A happy face i portrayed, broken hearted i felt.

2009-04-03T10:43:00.002+08:00

Cracks in the pavement cannot always been step over.

Cracks in a relationship cannot always be ignored.

They need to be mended.

They really do...

God, only You'll know the heartbeat of my soul. Guide me through this trying times.

2009-02-11T14:11:00.002+08:00

Losing a close one is comparable to wearing new shoes. It gets painful and difficult in the beggining. But it'll get comfortable and easier with time. You just have to keep walking and trying.

From 'Sweet Tapioca Porridge'‏ telemovie channel 5 11th Feb 2009

2009-01-29T19:54:00.002+08:00

It's been ages since i updated. I bet all (if any) my readers and friends must be wondering where did i go.

Well, all that i can say was that i took some time off my blog and was more involved in building my life (not virtual one for once) .

I began to put in more effort in my studies and learn to trust in the Lord more. It wasn't easy. I bet God didn't promise it will be. I think He did not say any thing like, "Hey children! Follow me! It's easy!" before. I guess that following Him really fully mean you have to take up the cross. And like the statement suggests, when you take up something no matter literally or take up something as in like a commitment, both require you to sacrifice. That is why God usually reminds you of the unearthly rewards you'll receive when you follow and be obedient.

Things that need rewarding to motivate you to commit usually ain't easy right?

To be continued...

2008-10-11T01:36:00.005+08:00

One of my fav choral pieces:

唱齐豫罗大佑词曲罗大佑

姐儿头上戴着杜鹃花呀

迎着风儿随浪逐彩霞

船儿摇过春水不说话呀

水乡温柔何处是我家

船儿摇过春水不说话呀

随着歌儿划向梦里的他

嘴儿轻轻唱呀不说话呀

水乡温柔像那梦里的画

嘴儿轻轻唱呀唱不休呀

年华飘过歌声似水流

船儿摇过春水不停留呀

摇到风儿吹波天凉的秋

船儿摇过春水不停留呀

鱼儿双双结伴水底游

谁的船歌唱的声悠悠呀

水乡温柔来到天凉的秋

谁的船歌唱的声悠悠

谁家姑娘水乡泛扁舟

谁的梦中他呀不说话呀呀不说话呀

谁的他呀何处是我家

姐儿头上戴着杜鹃花呀

迎着风儿随浪逐彩霞

船儿摇过春水不说话呀

水乡温柔何处是我家

船儿摇过春水不说话呀

水乡温柔何处是我家

2008-08-25T01:52:00.002+08:00

I recently went to a movie screening of 12 Lotus via an invitation by sheylara's blog for Golden Village's Blog Aloud project.

At first, i was very skeptical about the idea of a "free movie screening". I was wondering, what's the catch and stuff like that. So it took me one plus day of thinking before i emailed her. To my dismay, the slot i wanted for money no enough was full and i had to take another slot.

Sheylara emailed me a day later saying the people from GV will contact me. So i waited.

I got a call from GV not long after and the person (michele) was a very nice lady i came to know through the multiple phone calls we had. Well articulated and polite and breaming with passion for her work i would say.

Unfortunately, due to some reason, my slot for money no enough was cancelled. Thinking that it was supposed to be free and well...i mean they don owe me a living (or movie tat is), i was fine with the idea of not going...

Michele was nice and offered me to go for another screening of a movie called 4bia but the scary cat me won't allow my eyes to lay sight of any horror movies. I rejected her offer and went by my 1st few days of sch.

A few days later, she called again and asked me if i wanted to go attend 12 lotus's movie screening to replace that ones i couldn't go. I was delighted to say YES because i have wanted to catch that movie when it was released.

So it was settled.

On that day, i had lessons before the movie screening and keng soon had work. We met at vivo and had a quick dinner. I had toast complementary of KS.

When i reach Vivo GV i was wondering hmmmm where am i suppose to collect my tixs? So i called michele up and i saw her picking up her phone a distance away. Walked over and said hi. I then met sheylara (the blogger which i first heard of Blog Aloud) and found her to be prettier and more hmmm demure? Oh ya, i believe i met the goonfather as well. He looked hmmm goon as sheylara describe but i kept my comments to myself that day.

I think i would have sounded really retarded tat day if i said: are you the goonfather cause you look pretty goon.

Okay, distractions aside. I got my tixs from michele, popcorn from ks and drinks from 7 11 and off to watch 12 lotus we went.

The show was GREAT and it was the first time i really really enjoyed a locally produced movie.

I mean, i watched many local movies like money no enough and i'm not stupid etc etc and even the short films my late grandpa acted in like Ah Ma..

But i had never watched a local film which i felt the artistic direction of the film in terms of musical and the effects of filming, the play with lightings and angle of protraying the movie and last but not least being in choir and having acted in many musicals, i realli appreciated the flow of the story protrayed in a musical form. It was a very unique movie with many levels of interpretations of things which happened in the story possible. It was noted also that the director's play with symbols especially Asian, Local symbols and other things uniquely to Singapore was protrayed. The wide usage of dialect didn't hinder me because oh well, i'm a hokkein too. LOL

After the movie, there was a Q&A session with musical director, director and the main male actor of the movie.

I vaguely remembered the session but what i learnt was why the use of the dragon fly as a pendent and why not something else. It was said by the director that the dragonfly for chinese was said to be able to connect the dead with the living. Coolness...

Besides that, i found that director also has a knick for numbers. Hah. But he said it was because he had a phobia and distaste for them in his academic years. Lol. Sounds like my elder sis.

Okay, anyway i really want to thank GV for the movie, Michele and sheylara for the very nice experience i had.

And most importantly friends and readers, Blog aloud is here for sometime so, check out GV more often and yes, stay active in blogsphere!!!

Oh ya, GV's having it's BDAE celebration next sat, anyone wanna come along pls pls email me pino_gal@hotmail.com . Tks.

And last last i promise last time. Sign up to be GV's movie club member. It's free. =D

Till then see ya.

P/s: 12 lotus's a 4/5 star for me

2008-08-07T17:16:00.001+08:00

2008-07-30T13:03:00.000+08:00

Too Busy to RestAnswer by Marshall Shelley
Q. I have busy weekends and I usually finish most of my homework on Sundays. But then, in youth group I started feeling bad when we talked about honoring the Sabbath by not doing any work. So is it a sin for me to do homework, do my chores, or work at my job on Sunday?

A. Let's look at it in a different way. What if someone asked you: "Is it wrong for me to ignore my girlfriend because I've got homework and a job?" I think you would probably respond: "Yes! You can't build a good and loving relationship like that!"
It's that same way with God. Let's not talk about whether or not it's a "sin" to work on Sunday. Let's instead talk about the best way to build a relationship with God. Any relationship takes quality time. And that's the big idea behind "honoring the Sabbath."
One of the Ten Commandments says, "Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy" (Exodus 20:8, NIV). In the New Testament, this was one of the commandments that Jesus was accused of breaking because he didn't follow the strict prohibitions against work that the religious leaders insisted on. Jesus said, "The Sabbath was made for man, not man for the Sabbath" (Mark 2:27, NIV).
Jesus wasn't saying this commandment didn't matter; he was explaining that it had a greater meaning than the people thought. It means that God wants you to spend at least one day a week in rest. "Six days do your work, but on the seventh do not work" (Exodus 23:12, NIV). It's a day God gave to believers because he knew rest was good. I don't think the exact day is important; what's important is setting aside one day in the week for rest. By not working one day out of seven, we show our gratitude and trust in God. We live the way he intended us to because he knows what's best for us.
We're also to keep the Sabbath holy, which means that we devote at least one day a week to spending time with God, worshiping him and doing things that remind us that he is our provider.
So, is it wrong to have a job or to do homework on Sunday? No, but if you spend at least a day a week resting and concentrating on God, you'll take one big step toward developing a quality relationship with him.

Marshall, a former pastor, is editor of Leadership, a magazine for pastors.Copyright © 2008 by the author or Christianity Today International/Ignite Your Faith magazine.Click here for reprint information on Ignite Your Faith.March/April 2008, Vol. 67, No. 2, Page 8

2008-07-30T11:38:00.002+08:00

my 200th post

As a tribute to all those friends who love and believe in me the way i am. No matter how ugly i feel i am...

Ugly Me
by Carla Barnhill

Who knows when I first started hating the way I look? It could have been in fourth grade, when I went to camp with my beautiful cousin who got more attention than slightly chubby me. It could have been in sixth grade, when I was suddenly taller than nearly everyone else in my class. It could have been in eighth grade, when I realized that my friends were starting to date and I wasn't. All I know is that from junior high all the way through high school, I can't remember ever looking in the mirror and being happy with what I saw.
I'm sure it didn't help to have an older brother who apparently felt it was his job to tease me. He started calling me "chubs" when I was in seventh grade and kept it up till he graduated from high school a few years later.
But he was just part of the problem. I couldn't help but compare myself to other girls at my school—girls who were thinner, prettier, smarter. Nothing about me seemed quite right. I had curly hair; everyone else had straight hair. I played tennis and the cello; the "popular" girls played basketball and the clarinet. And while I knew I was a good friend, a decent student and fun person to be around, those things just weren't enough to boost my sagging self-esteem.
What really clinched my whole self-image problem was guys. I couldn't figure out why, of all my great guy friends, not one of them wanted to date me. For example, one of my best friends in high school was a guy named Eric, and I had a major crush on him. Eric and I spent tons of time together. I knew he really cared about me and valued my friendship. But despite my obvious interest in him, he never wanted to date me. He'd tell me about his girl problems. He'd wonder out loud why other girls weren't as easy to talk to as I was. And as we became closer friends with no hope of romance in sight, I'd wonder, What's wrong with me?
I couldn't help but compare myself to other girls at my school—girls who were thinner, prettier, smarter.
That was it—my prevailing thought through junior high, high school and on into college: What's wrong with me? It didn't stop with Eric. All the way through my teenage years, I had great guy friends who didn't want to date me. I was smart and funny and could attract all the friends I could ever want. But that somehow wasn't enough. I didn't get dates, and I wasn't in the top echelons of popularity, all because I didn't look quite right. To me, that seemed to be the only answer.
While I felt horrible on the inside, I tried to act like it didn't bother me to be the "dateless wonder." I filled my life with other things, things I was good at, like theater and choir and the pompon team. And while those things helped me feel better about myself, they weren't enough, either. In fact, in some ways, they contributed to my feelings that I was fat and ugly. While I usually ended up with leading roles in school plays, I was never the leading lady—the pretty girl who ends up with the guy. Instead, I played the character roles that got lots of laughs.
And the pompon team was no better. My senior year, I served as co-captain. And because I was the co-captain, my mom had to help out with organizing some of our fundraising events. After one meeting with a few of the other moms, my mother came home furious. "What's wrong?" I asked her.
"Well, a few of the other women were talking about setting a weight limit for you girls."
"Are you kidding me?" I said. It didn't take a genius to know that those moms felt like a few of us on the team were a little on the heavy side. And I knew that meant me. "So what do they want to do?" I asked.
"They're not going to do anything," Mom said firmly. "I told them that if they think they can force my perfectly healthy daughter into some kind of mold their skinny little daughters happen to fit into, they're going to have to take it up with me."
Go Mom!
And even though my mom stood up for me, even though no weight limit was ever set for the team, I couldn't help but feel the eyes of those other mothers watching me every time we performed. I knew they thought I was fat.
So I hated myself. I hid my feelings behind an outgoing personality and a sense of humor. No one knew how I felt, and I was determined that no one ever would.
But the spring of my senior year, something happened that changed all that self-loathing. One night, when I was in one of my usual "I hate me" funks, I rode my bike around town for an hour or so hoping the night air would cheer me up a little. I ended up at the playground of my elementary school. I got off my bike and sat on a swing.
It was a clear spring night with no clouds, a full moon and a sky bursting with stars. As I sat on the swing, I looked up at the spectacular sky and thought about how amazing God's creation is. And it hit me. Yes, the sky is beautiful. Yes, the trees are beautiful and the mountains and the oceans and all of God's earth. But in God's eyes, I am more precious, more valuable, more beautiful than any of it.
For the first time in years, I thought about myself from God's perspective. In my mind, I imagined God in his little workshop crafting me by hand—choosing just the right shade of brown for my eyes, the right shape for my hands, the perfect amount of curl for my hair. And then I imagined him watching me day after day as I looked in the mirror and criticized how he had made me.
God had put me together with love and pride. He had put me on earth and added stars and sunsets and hummingbirds and tree frogs and other beautiful things for me to look at. He'd given me great parents, wonderful friends, all kinds of talents and abilities. His love for me was more enormous than I could possibly grasp. And in spite of all that, I had the nerve to think he'd messed up.
I ran to my bike, rushed home and scrambled up to my room. I flipped to the Psalms for a chapter I remembered that spoke of the glory of nature. There it was, Psalm 104, a psalm celebrating God's incredible creation. As I read it, I kept thinking, Look at how amazing creation is. Look at how much care God took in making this world, and he's sharing it with you, Carla.
As I fell asleep that night, I felt something I hadn't felt in a very long time. I felt peace and contentment with myself. I knew that I was one of God's most amazing creations and that to doubt it, even for a second, was an insult to God.
I still struggle with my self-image. I still don't look like a model, and I know I never will. I don't always weigh what I think I should, and I always hate wearing a bathing suit. But you know what? That's just surface stuff. The truth is, God made me, and I'm fine just the way I am.

8 Ways to Feel Good About Yourself
1. Picture it. Flip to your favorite memories in an old photo album. As you reminisce about fun times in your life and the people you really care about, you'll see how many truly fabulous gifts God's given you.
2. Focus on the positive. Focus on the positive. If you're in the habit of keeping nice notes, cards and letters from others, dig ‘em out. Or you can just listen extra-hard for encouraging words. Sometimes other people are better at identifying your great God-given traits than you are.
3. Make a change. Identify the behaviors and situations that undermine your self-confidence, then try your hardest to change them. Stop hanging out with people who make you feel crummy. Instead of criticizing your reflection in the mirror, give yourself a compliment. Smile more.
4. Come clean. Unresolved issues with other people or with God can weigh you down and trick you into thinking no one would love you if they knew the truth. Confession is tough, but it's a cinch compared to living with guilt. Plus, confession leads to forgiveness—usually from other people and always from God.
5. Challenge yourself. Read a classic novel. Start an exercise plan. Try a new sport, or pick up a musical instrument. Memorize a book of the Bible. In the process of collecting new experiences and finding a sense of accomplishment, you just might discover a talent you never knew you had.
6. Excel where it counts. You'll probably never be the most athletic, attractive, intelligent, popular person you know. But you can make it your goal to be something even better. You could strive to be the most caring, the best listener, the most patient or the kindest. These things won't win you trophies, but they'll lead to the best kind of success: becoming more like Jesus.
7. Lend a hand. Try to focus on the lives of others instead of just your own. Volunteer—whether that means helping a neighbor or caring for abandoned animals—and you'll be amazed at the results. Making a difference in others' lives has a boomerang way of making a huge difference in your own.
8. Remember who loves you. The ultimate reason to feel good about yourself has to do with the ultimate being: God. He's starry-eyed, open-arms, head-over-heels in love with you. Read 1 John and think of it as God's love letter to you. Here's a little sneak preview (1 John 3:1). "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!"

Copyright © 1999 by the author or Christianity Today International/Campus Life magazine.
Click here for reprint information on Campus Life.July/August 1999, Vol. 58, No. 1, Page 34

2008-07-29T10:03:00.001+08:00

BF's SHOULD DO.

☆~ When she stares at your mouth = "Kiss her"
☆~ When she pushes you or hits you like a dumb ass cuz she thinks shes stronger than you = "LET HER BEAT AND ACT PAINFUL"
☆~ When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tuff = "Kiss her and tell her you love her"
☆~ When she's quiet = "Ask her what's wrong"
☆~ When she ignores you = "Give her your attention"
☆~ When you see her at her worst = "Tell her she's beautiful"
☆~ When you see her start crying = "Just hold her and don't say a word"
☆~ When she steals your favorite pillow = "Let her keep it and slp with it for a night"
☆~ When she doesn't answer for a long time = "Reassure her that everything is okay"
☆~ When she looks at you with doubt = "Back yourself up"
☆~ When she says that she likes you = "SHE REALLY DOES MORE THAN U COULD UNDERSTAND!"
☆~ When she looks at you in your eyes = "Don't look away until she does"
☆~ When she says it's over = "She still wants you to be hers"
☆~ When she reposts this = "She wants you to read it"
☆~ Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything
☆~ Call her at 12:00am on her birthday/anniversary dates to tell her you love her

☆~ Treat her like she's all that matters to you
☆~ Stay up all night with her when she's sick
☆~ Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid

2008-07-29T04:33:00.001+08:00

One step at a time

By Jordin Sparks

Lyrics:

Hurry up and wait
So close, but so far away
Everything that you've always dreamed of
Close enough for you to taste
But you just can't touch

You wanna show the world, but no one knows your name yet
Wonder when and where and how you're gonna make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face as the door keeps slamming
Now you're feeling more and more frustrated
And you're getting all kind of impatient waiting

[Chorus:]
We live and we learn to take
One step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It's gonna happen and it's
Supposed to happen that we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

You believe and you doubt
You're confused, you got it all figured out
Everything that you always wished for
Could be yours, should be yours, would be yours
If they only knew

You wanna show the world, but no one knows your name yet
Wonder when and where and how you're gonna make it
You know you can if you get the chance
In your face as the door keeps slamming
Now you're feeling more and more frustrated
And you're getting all kind of impatient waiting

We live and we learn to take
One step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It's gonna happen and it's
Supposed to happen that we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

When you can't wait any longer
But there's no end in sight
when you need to find the strength
It's the faith that makes you stronger
The only way you get there
Is one step at a time

One step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It's gonna happen and it's
Supposed to happen that we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

One step at a time
There's no need to rush
It's like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It's gonna happen and it's
Supposed to happen that we
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

2008-07-21T22:09:00.002+08:00

It's been like forever since i've updated. I think i have a problem with journal commitment. Ha. Or maybe there hasn't been really any thing much to update about. Life has been rather mundane. Just going to work and back for the past two weeks. But after commencement i kind of miss working. Shit. Maybe i miss the pay more. Ha.

Think life has been good to me. Cause like i bought this suit for work from mango for 99 bucks. Then i was like superbly broke.

Then i was like calculating my expenses and what i wanna buy before semester starts and how much my expected pay will be etc etc.

Then i realised another buffet will simply not do. To my weight as well. I smsed ks and you know what he replied?

He say he'll treat me using science centre pay.
So nice lor.

He also helped me fixed up my ikea bookshelf and toilet cabinet.

I am such a sucky useless gf tat always make him angry....

haix

2008-07-03T08:53:00.000+08:00

Daughter: Hello?
Daddy: Hi honey. This is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?
Daughter: No Daddy. She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.
After a brief pause,
Daddy: But honey, you haven’t got an Uncle Paul.
Daughter: Oh yes I do, and he’s upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now.
Brief Pause.
Daddy: Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway.
Daughter: Okay Daddy, just a minute.
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone.
Daughter: I did it Daddy.
Daddy: And what happened honey?
Daughter: Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn’t moving at all!
Daddy: Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?
Daughter: He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool… But I guess he didn’t know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I think he’s dead.

***Long Pause***

***Longer Pause***

***Even Longer Pause***

Daddy: Swimming pool?
Daddy: Is this 486-5731?
Daughter: No, this is 486-5713…..
Daddy: Sorry, wrong number

2008-06-20T23:30:00.002+08:00

I am just sooooo SICK ABT how FCBC works...

Oh yes, favour the smart and successful.

WTF

BIASNESS

2008-06-19T01:16:00.001+08:00

I remember reading this and i feel it's very true...

The guy looks at the girl who looks upset and asks...Is anything wrong?

The girl replies...nothing

The guy carries on doing his stuff not knowing the girl is crying inside. Everything is wrong.

2008-06-16T08:46:00.002+08:00

Oh i know, i haven't been updating.
It's because i'm simply so slack
And also cause the new Wii in my hse is distracting me. HAHA

Okay.
Some nick nack for you guys

So am i stubborn or am i not? Hah

You Are An ISFJ

The Nurturer

You have a strong need to belong, and you very loyal.

A good listener, you excel at helping others in practical ways.

In your spare time, you enjoy engaging your senses through art, cooking, and music.

You find it easy to be devoted to one person, who you do special things for.

In love, you express your emotions through actions.

Taking care of someone is how you love them. And you do it well!

At work, you do well in a structured environment. You complete tasks well and on time.

You would make a good interior designer, chef, or child psychologist.

How you see yourself: Competent, dependable, and detail oriented

When other people don't get you, they see you as: Boring, dominant, and stuck in a rut

What's Your Personality Type?

2008-05-28T22:09:00.001+08:00

before i learn how to resize photos...sorry for the injustice done to keng soon.. =l BLEAH

2008-05-28T21:36:00.008+08:00

As promised,

photos from ages ago

Oh ya, i forgot to express my appreciation to SU. Thanks for your company on my 1st day of exams and accompanying me to my exam venue. LOVE YOU GAL!!!

This was taken when i was bored studying at a biz bench near canteen. (with su)
The sun was drawn, haha...

Very old photos also:
My treat from keng soon for birthday at fish and co.
Yummy!!!

Watch him eat!!! Ain't he cute?

Going home after visiting keng soon's hse one day....MRT platform if you wanna know...LOL

Keng soon's treat at seoul garden..after tat we walked around causeway pt...and i saw this cute rabbit. Keng soon says the white one looks nicer. But i like pink rabbits!! Keng soon was like saying pink rabbits don exist...=l

Maybe rabbits that are vain and make up will become pink??!! Okay...so random

Okay...

Quiz of the day...

I ate this before pastor's hee guan's wedding
Guess how much this costs

Tag to guess, ans at next post

2008-05-23T23:09:00.002+08:00

Donno if you guys can see this but this is like my pre-list for my bdae thingsy.

As i promised...more illustration for my blog...
HAHA

BTW, this entry is for SAM GUO...SEE WHAT I WROTE...=D
*lol

She always make my day....

2008-05-21T22:39:00.000+08:00

I am going to put more pictures up on my blog in future.

Stay tuned!! =D

2008-05-16T00:24:00.002+08:00

Today i went for interview at recruit express. Well, i knew it was gonna be "useless" as usual. So i ended up alone and roaming abt aimlessly at Orchard like at 11am in the morning.

I bought some chicken wings for Mr Meow and went to Yishun to visit. Mr meow's sick. Awww...

Think is my fault la. I made him go gym and run before IPPT. =l Sorry MEOW...

I was looking forward to kayaking tmr. Till, i have to go for ANOTHER interview session in Tuas. Haiz...

Hopefully it'll turn up fine.

I don't really feel like blogging. Nowadays there are a million things i wanna say but i can't.

I feel like saying, i'm just sick of pleasing you but i can't. I need to suck up my pride and my unhappiness and say yes i agree with you.

I have to follow your wishes. I feel like your puppet.

Is it suppose to be this way? So now, we have you in our r/s. Not God anymore. You.
Is that what you wish?
For me to please you more than to love God?

Or do you simply want us to break up?

Why?

2008-05-08T01:03:00.000+08:00

A girl in love asked her boyfriend.
Girl: Tell me. Who do you love most in this world?
Boy: You, of course!
Girl: In your heart, what am I to you?

The boy thought for a moment and looked intently in her eyes and said, "You are my rib. It was said that God saw that Adam was lonely, during his sleep, God took one of Adam's rib and created Eve. Every man has been searching for his missing rib, only when you find the woman of your life, you'll no longer feel the lingering ache in your heart."

After their wedding, the couple had a sweet and happy life for a while. However, the youthful couple began to drift apart due to the busy schedule of life and the never-ending worries of daily problems, their life became mundane. All the challenges posed by the harsh realities of life began to gnaw away their dreams and love for each other. The couple began to have more quarrels and each quarrel became more heated.

One day, after the quarrel, the girl ran out of the house. At the opposite side of the road, she shouted, "You don't love me!"
The boy hated her childishness and out of impulse, retorted, "Maybe, it was a mistake for us to be together! You were never my missing rib!"

Suddenly, she turned quiet and stood there for a long while. He regretted what he said but words spoken are like thrown away water, you can never take it back. With tears, she went home to pack her things and was determined in breaking-up. Before she left the house, "If I'm really not your missing rib, please let me go." She continued, "It is less painful this way. Let us go on our separate ways and search for our own partners."

Five years went by.

He never remarried but he had tried to find out about her life indirectly. She had left the country and back. She had married a foreigner and divorced. He felt anguished that she never waited for him.

In the dark and lonely night, he lit his cigarette and felt the lingering ache in his heart. He couldn't bring himself to admit that he was missing her.

One day, they finally met. At the airport, a place where there were many reunions and good byes. He was going away on a business trip. She was standing there alone, with just the security door separating them. She smiled at him gently.

Boy: How are you?
Girl: I'm fine. How about you? Have you found your missing rib?
Boy: No.
Girl: I'll be flying to New York in the next flight.
Boy: I'll be back in 2 weeks time. Give me a call when you are back. You know my number. Nothing has changed.

With a smile, she turned around and waved good bye.

One week later, he heard of her death. She had perished in New York, in the event that shocked the world.
Midnight, once again, he lit his cigarette. And like before, he felt the lingering ache in his heart. He finally knew. She was the missing rib that he had carelessly broken.

2008-04-14T17:15:00.001+08:00

Artist: Hillsong
Album: Saviour King
Title: Saviour King

Let now the weak say I have strength
By the spirit of power that rised Christ fron the dead
Let now the poor stand and confess
That my portion is Him and I'm more than blessed

[pc]
Let now our hearts burn with a flame
A fire consuming all for Your Son's holy name
And with the heavens we declare
You are our King

[c]
We love You lord
We worship You
You are our God
You alone are good

Let now Your church shine as the bride
That You saw in Your heart as You offered up Your life
Let now the lost be welcomed home
But the saved and redeemed those adopted as Your own

[c2]
We love You Lord
We worship You
You are our God
You alone are good

You asked Your Son
To carry this
The heavy cross
Our weight of sin

I love You Lord
I worship You
Hope which was lost
Now stands renewed

I give my life
To honour this
The love of Christ
The Saviour King

2008-04-12T10:18:00.004+08:00

Psalm 27
A psalm of David.

1 The Lord is my light and my salvation—
so why should I be afraid?
The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger,
so why should I tremble?
2 When evil people come to devour me,
when my enemies and foes attack me,
they will stumble and fall.
3 Though a mighty army surrounds me,
my heart will not be afraid.
Even if I am attacked,
I will remain confident.

4 The one thing I ask of the Lord—
the thing I seek most—
is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
delighting in the Lord’s perfections
and meditating in his Temple.
5 For he will conceal me there when troubles come;
he will hide me in his sanctuary.
He will place me out of reach on a high rock.
6 Then I will hold my head high
above my enemies who surround me.
At his sanctuary I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy,
singing and praising the Lord with music.

7 Hear me as I pray, O Lord.
Be merciful and answer me!
8 My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.”
And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.”
9 Do not turn your back on me.
Do not reject your servant in anger.
You have always been my helper.
Don’t leave me now; don’t abandon me,
O God of my salvation!
10 Even if my father and mother abandon me,
the Lord will hold me close.

11 Teach me how to live, O Lord.
Lead me along the right path,
for my enemies are waiting for me.
12 Do not let me fall into their hands.
For they accuse me of things I’ve never done;
with every breath they threaten me with violence.
13 Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness
while I am here in the land of the living.

14 Wait patiently for the Lord.
Be brave and courageous.
Yes, wait patiently for the Lord

I was very disturbed by many things for the past few semesters.

I've come to realise that men will definitely fail me and that i will definitely fail men. People will put you down even when they're super close to you. (knowingly or unknowingly) People are most likely to envy the successful. Hypocritical people are everywhere. Yes. This includes me.

Many people will never admit they are hypocritical. But i've come to realise that this is because many a times, we(they) do not realise that we(they) ourself (themself) are hypocritical. No one is free from sin if one depends on himself/herself. We all need God.

What it means to trust God even when your whole world collapses.

I've been very afraid the whole of the past few semesters. I feel helpless. I feel that my friends have abandoned me. I've become too reliance on keng soon and therefore i lost my trust in God. I've put my trust in men.

Oh God, how wrong i was. How native to put my security in the now. How stupid i was to forget that God promises us He will always be there for us. I've become blinded to Him.

1 The Lord is my light and my salvation— so why should I be afraid? The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble? 2 When evil people come to devour me, when my enemies and foes attack me, they will stumble and fall. 3 Though a mighty army surrounds me, my heart will not be afraid. Even if I am attacked, I will remain confident.

I've also forgotten about what it is to live in this world. Yes, God will want us to be successful but according to HIS plans. Also, ultimately, our life in this world is short and that our goal should ALWAYS be to seek Him and look forward to meeting our Maker when we've left this world.

4 The one thing I ask of the Lord— the thing I seek most— is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, delighting in the Lord’s perfections and meditating in his Temple. 5 For he will conceal me there when troubles come; he will hide me in his sanctuary. He will place me out of reach on a high rock. 6 Then I will hold my head high above my enemies who surround me. At his sanctuary I will offer sacrifices with shouts of joy, singing and praising the Lord with music.

God will never abandon me. I must learn to lean on that. I think God is very sad with me. Haiz. How i feel for God. I've abandoned him the same way my friends did when i need them.

Hear me as I pray, O Lord. Be merciful and answer me! 8 My heart has heard you say, “Come and talk with me.” And my heart responds, “Lord, I am coming.” 9 Do not turn your back on me. Do not reject your servant in anger. You have always been my helper. Don’t leave me now; don’t abandon me, O God of my salvation! 10 Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.

Lord i am coming....
Father i pray that you will....
11 Teach me how to live, O Lord.
Lead me along the right path,
for my enemies are waiting for me.

12 Do not let me fall into their hands.
For they accuse me of things I’ve never done;
with every breath they threaten me with violence.

Yesterday, i felt God tell me to be confident....that...
13 Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living.

and most importantly to wait...
14 Wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord

For the whole of my NUS years, i keep feeling a prompt from God to wait. I have no idea to wait for what... After waiting for months and experiencing failures after failures I've come to point where i am tired of waiting. I've been so exhausted and disappointed with God that i've cease to wait. I've become impatient, quick to angry and unhappy with my life. All these because i've withdrawn and left God's presence. All these because i was desperate for worldly success. All these because i need some security.

I've come to realise that waiting for the Lord can be really a test of faith. This test i've come to fail terribly. I hope it's not too late to "retake" this test for i still feel a season of waiting for me.
Maybe it is like what Sam says, i should learn to truely live by faith but not by sight.

I've come to realise this wait is a way to tell shuyi to depend on God. It's a season of waiting and then change. To truely depend on God to provide and not to depend wholly on men and plans i've come up with. And to truely seek out Godly company and have a fellowship with them.

This is the season where God is going to break me and mould me.
This is the season where God WILL tell me where He wants me to go (in His time)

And it will indeed be a season for me to bring the evil ring in me to destroy.

But, though the journey may be tough, i now know that God and His children will be in the fellowship with me. I will learn to depend on that.

And i will wait for what God has to offer for me.
For i am confident that it will be nothing that men or I can provide for myself.

2008-04-12T09:46:00.003+08:00

I haven been sleeping for ages.

Hmmm... monday, tuesday, sunday and saturday i was studying for CA, didn sleep much. In fact i din sleep at all for tuesday unless you count e countless times i dozed off.

Wednesday i also din sleep. I was stoning and doing my stuff till 5am before taking a nap till 8am??

Thurs was e day i finally sleep like 8 hrs? But it's because i dozed off.

Friday, i din sleep again...trying to finish my write up for e proj. I AM STILL DOING IT NOW...

But at least i went out for a ~~run~~ walk..

My stamina is zero now. I can't even run 400m??? SHIT

2008-04-10T09:45:00.003+08:00

I've been thinking and thinking...

you know what, i finally know like what i want ~~for my birthday (which is over)~~..
Besides some r/s thingsy i wan settled...i really wan to change myself for the better and also...

it'll be nice if someone in my family or what buys more christian songs to play instead of the usual "depressing" pop songs i hear around...

just a random tot

what are pple teaching their kids nowadays...

2008-04-10T05:38:00.000+08:00

Bleeding Love lyrics

Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing's greater
Than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love

2008-04-10T03:26:00.001+08:00

Akon - Sorry, Blame It On Me lyrics

As life goes on I'm starting to learn more and more about responsibility
I realize everything I do is affecting the people around me
So I want to take this time out and apologize for things I have done
And things that have not occurred yet
And the things they don't want to take responsibility for

I'm sorry for the times I left you home
I was on the road and you were alone
I'm sorry for the times that I had to go
I'm sorry for the fact that I did not know
That you were sitting home just wishing we
Could go back to when it was just you and me
I'm sorry for the times I would neglect
I'm sorry for the times I disrespect

I'm sorry for the wrong things that I've done
I'm sorry I'm not always there for my sons
I'm sorry for the fact that I am not aware
That you can't sleep at night when I am not there
Because I am in the streets like everyday
Sorry for the things that I did not say
Like how you are the best thing in my world
And how I am so proud to call you my girl

[Bridge]
I understand that there are some problems
And I am not too blind to know
All the pain you kept inside you
Even though you might not show
If I can apologize for being wrong
Then it's just a shame on me
I'll be the reason for your pain and you can put the blame on me

[Chorus]
You can put the blame on me [4x]
Said you can put the blame on me [3x]
You can put the blame on me

Sorry for the things that he put you through
And all the times you didn't know what to do
Sorry that you had to go and sell those packs
Just trying to stay busy till you heard from Dad
And you would rather be home with all your kids
As one big family with love and bliss
And even though Pops treated us like kings

He got a second wife and you didn't agree
He got up and left you there all alone
I'm sorry that you had to do it on your own
I'm sorry that I went and added to your grief
I'm sorry that your son was once a thief
I'm sorry that I grew up way too fast
I wish I would've listened and not be so bad
I'm sorry your life turned out this way
I'm sorry the FEDS came and took me away

[Bridge]

I'm sorry that it took so long to see
They were dead wrong trying to put it on me
I'm sorry that it took so long to speak
But I was on tour with Gwen Stefani
I'm sorry for the hand that she was dealt
For the embarrassment that she felt
Just a little young girl trying to have fun
Her daddy should never let her out that young
I'm sorry for Club Zen getting shut down
I hope they manage better next time around
How was I to know she was underage
Enter 21 you know the club they say
Why doesn't anybody wanna take blame
For rising back out disgracing my name
I'm just a singer trying to entertain
Because I love my fans I'll take that blame
Even though the blame's on you [3x]
I'll take that blame from you

And you can put that blame on me [2x]
You can put that blame on me
And you can put that blame on me

Yesterday - Leona Lewis

2008-04-07T10:43:00.001+08:00

2008-04-07T09:48:00.000+08:00

Yesterday by Leona Lewis
I just can't believe your gone,
still waiting for morning to come,
wanna see if the sun wil rise,
even without you by my side.
When we had so much in store,
tell me what is it i'm reaching for.
When we're through building memories,
i'll hold yesterday in my heart, in my heart.
Chorus.
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made,
they can take the music that we'll never play.
All the broken dreams,
take everything,
just take it away, but they can never have yesterday.
They can take the future that we'll never know,
they can take the places that we said we would go.
All the broken dreams,
take everything,
just take it away, but they can never have yesterday.
You always used to say,
i should be thankful for everyday.
Heaven knows what the future holds,
or atleast how the story goes. (but i never believed them 'til now.)
I know i'll see you again i'm sure.
No it's not selfish to ask for more.
One more night, one more day,
one more smile on you face,
but they can't take yesterday.
Chorus.
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made,
they can take the music that we'll never play.
All the broken dreams,
take everything,
just take it away, but they can never have yesterday.
They can take the future that we'll never know,
they can take the places that we said we would go.
All the broken dreams,
take everything,
just take it away, but they can never have yesterday.
I thought our days would last forever. (but it wasn't our destiny)
'Cause in my mind, we had so much time.
But i was so wrong.
Now i can, believe that,
i can still find the strength in the moments we made.
I'm looking back on yesterday.
Chorus.
They can take tomorrow and the plans we made,
they can take the music that we'll never play.
All the broken dreams,
take everything,
just take it away, but they can never have yesterday.
They can take the future that we'll never know,
they can take the places that we said we would go.
All the broken dreams,
take everything,
just take it away, but they can never have yesterday.
Ooooh...
(All the broken dreams take everything)
But they can never have yesterday.

2008-04-05T13:37:00.001+08:00

Seriously, this is not the ONLY time i've been disappointed...

But, i guess this is the 1st time in life i'm disappointed with God.
He put me in uni with a good stand, but left me there to die.
I feel that way and have been for the past two years.
My faith is spiraling down.
I have no sense of control over my life.
I feel like a failure all the time and i cannot get everything done.

God, everyday i pray for You to help me. But i don sense any help, even encouragement from You. Everyday i just continue getting put down and knocked out by people. Helping people who don't help me back when i truely need and asked.

I don't feel appreciated.
I don't feel that You want me anymore.

And seriously if you don't understand me, don't seek to comment or judge me.

You are nt fit to. Cause you are nt me. And seriously, i've struggled and am still struggling. WITH NO HELP. AND NO ONE IS ABLE TO HELP ME.

Even God isn't.

2008-04-04T16:31:00.001+08:00

Keng soon is such a deary...

he bought me my school bags =D
2 OF THEM IN FACT!!

=D

And he treating me fish and co...

fish and chip chip =)

a bit of happiness before my birthday then my CA after tat...HAIZ

2008-03-19T20:26:00.002+08:00

I love my friends. =D

Look at how deary they are. See my tag board messages. -->

=)

2008-03-09T04:41:00.002+08:00

I cried the XYZth time today...

Sometimes, i just feel a sense of lost.
I donno what to do anymore.
I donno how to be anymore.

Knowing the ideal person you want me to be. Knowing that you do not love me but love the going to be that ideal standard me.

It just saddens me...

Why can't you just love me for who i am?

My heart broke into pieces this afternoon...
Knowing i'll never be the one you love. Knowing the one you know is an ideal me.

2008-02-28T15:41:00.002+08:00

It been decades since i've updated have i? Haha.
Okay...i'm not that old. Well, it's because miss Janet has been superbly busy.

Firsly, there was CNY in which i spent studying (as usual). Then after lsm2202 CA there was e usual Stats tut and readings to catch up and not to mention V day preparations and etc etc...

I was so burned out that i fell so ill during start of mid-sem which spiralled me into a whole big back log of work. Which i am taking a break off now.

Thanks to mr meow that took good care of me. But i "hai" him to be scolded by his colleagues. Miss Chia, i need to grow up and quick.

Oh well, short update with a very sweet picture. Till next time i guess. So much illness, so much work and so little time. Till then...

Bye and take good care of your health friends =D

2008-01-29T18:07:00.001+08:00

Culture is to be studied with the context it is in.

I also agree...

Maybe that is why we find ourselves difficult to understand people who do not share the same cultural values or social structure that govern the culture.

We mis-interpret people's social action and use our own cultural values to understand them.

Conflict, confusion then arises.

What's with this entry? HAHA
Bored with lab qns =D

Back to dinner and lab!! *buai!

Oh well...what's with this entry...haha

Bored with lab qns i guess....LOL...back to dinner then studies.

2008-01-28T23:47:00.000+08:00

I'm finally enjoying cell i guess. Packing up my load of sadness and disappointment from last time and leaving it to God at last.

I need to learn to love Him more than Keng soon. This will be my spiritual wish this year and hope i will work towards it. After all, God created me, how can i love someone more than Him. I've been wrong for too long...too long...

I'm getting ready for tutorials despite my heavy duties this week.

Work, studies, labs, tutorials, family, canoe, bf etc etc

My cat was sent away. I don reali miss it. But i really miss his meows when i come home late at night.

Haiz....this year is truely what God told me.

A season of growing up for me. He told me it's gonna be painful but experiencial.

It truely is. Truely a season of testing.

2008-01-24T08:00:00.000+08:00

It's not really a very good week, nor is it a very bad one so far.

Oh well....
I experienced so much that i forgot what hit me.
Sharon had her 21st birthday, i had my first prac for lsm2202, i have hui ming as my lab partner, i learnt not to care too much of what others say, i learn to be just a tad more independent off keng soon...etc etc

So much and so little time.

But i am comforted that God is SURELY(as seen from sam's blog) always with me and granting me rest when i am weary.

p/s: I saw PAM in sch...=)

I miss anthea....*i'm going bonky over her and sarah...LOL

Off to school...=)

Fish Leong (梁靜茹) - 崇拜

2008-01-18T06:33:00.001+08:00

你的姿态你的青睐
我存在在你的存在
你以为爱就是被爱
你挥霍了我的崇拜

我活了　我爱了　我都不管了
心爱到疯了恨到算了就好了
可能的　可以的　真的可惜了
幸福好不容易怎么你却不敢了呢

我还以为我们能　不同于别人
我还以为不可能的　不会不可能

你的姿态你的青睐
我存在在你的存在
你以为爱就是被爱
你挥霍了我的崇拜

风筝有风海豚有海
我存在在我的存在

所以明白　所以离开
所以不再为爱而爱
自己存在　在你之外

2008-01-17T19:43:00.000+08:00

Psalm 16
A psalm of David.
1 Keep me safe, O God,
for I have come to you for refuge.
2 I said to the Lord, “You are my Master!
Every good thing I have comes from you.”
3 The godly people in the land
are my true heroes!
I take pleasure in them!
4 Troubles multiply for those who chase after other gods.
I will not take part in their sacrifices of blood
or even speak the names of their gods.
5 Lord, you alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing.
You guard all that is mine.
6 The land you have given me is a pleasant land.
What a wonderful inheritance!
7 I will bless the Lord who guides me;
even at night my heart instructs me.
8 I know the Lord is always with me.
I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.
9 No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice.[a]
My body rests in safety.
10 For you will not leave my soul among the dead[b]
or allow your holy one[c] to rot in the grave.
11 You will show me the way of life,
granting me the joy of your presence
and the pleasures of living with you forever.[d]

Love notes and letters always move me. Not to mention this psalm. When i read this psalm i was listening to Liang Jing Ru's cd. The music and the flow of the beautiful words from God just simply made me want to tear. So beautiful. God is indeed the maker of love because God IS LOVE.

All these words inspired by Him...
Indeed, God is my refuge, my love, my cup of blessing, my inheritance, my joy, my guide, my stone, my protector...

I love You God, more than i will anyone.
Because of You, You taught me to love.
You saved me from destruction. You mended my relationships.

Today was an okay day. At first, i was quite unhappy and tired because i overslept and spent the whole night yesterday pouring through my arts readings which i din really understand...

Then i had to carry two THICK txbk to sch to lend someone. And i found out i din know where is my lecture hall. Luckily for me, Hui Ming saved me. =D

During the lecture i was wondering why no one wanted to sit beside me and i was getting a bit unhappy about it when someone walked in and sat beside me. Thank God. She spoke to me during the break and she's a darn nice girl. =D Thank God. She's a year 3 sociology major and she say she don mind balloting same tut as me. *yeah...i have company!!! God provides...

And it's not the end. Jansen smsed me in the middle of my lecture to say that he wanna lunch and study with me. =) I have company again. =D Keng also smsed me shortly after. I felt so blessed by God today.

But sorry to keng to waste your time travelling to arts. Next time, let me go science k?

The rest i'll blog more next time. I need to catch up with my arts readings.

Till then,
I LOVE YOU PEOPLE!!!

2008-01-15T06:37:00.000+08:00

Psalm 15
A psalm of David.
1 Who may worship in your sanctuary, Lord?
Who may enter your presence on your holy hill?
2 Those who lead blameless lives and do what is right,
speaking the truth from sincere hearts.
3 Those who refuse to gossip
or harm their neighbors
or speak evil of their friends.
4 Those who despise flagrant sinners,
and honor the faithful followers of the Lord,
and keep their promises even when it hurts.
5 Those who lend money without charging interest,
and who cannot be bribed to lie about the innocent.
Such people will stand firm forever.

My 1st day is school was "bad" but i thank God for the little miracles he showered to bring me through the day. 1stly, Keng soon was there to help me print my stuff and put my lab coats in his locker. I thank God and him for that.

Secondly, i found my mini project group people with no much fuss and manage to register for my group promptly.

Thirdly, my culture and society module seems fun and interesting and that i found a secondary mate that to accompany me =)

Fourthly, i had lunch with keng =D

Fifthly, keng's fren accompanied me for most of my booth duty.

Sixth, Sam cheered me up =D and i got to eat free cotton candy and my fav ice cream for $1

Seventh, i've found very good friends in uni that helped me unconditionally.

So so many things God has blessed me and provided for me.
I think is cause a lot of my cell pple have been praying for me also.
Awww....i love my cell =D

So much to say and so much to praise.
I'll update again tonight about other stuff like my JC clique gathering. =D
Oh ya...and abt today's quiet time. I need to think abt it 1st. Till then....

God bless and have a wonderful day...

2008-01-10T09:47:00.000+08:00

I just woke up!!!

Cause i was too tired after the movie plus finding out how to go SMU yst night.

Had dinner with kengz yst at science centre mac.l =) I ate curly fries!!! Very little though...cause of the shape, it don't really fit in well with the fries box... Abit cheat money *lol Then we watched national treasure. Darn nice la!! =D The adrenaline rush...

Anyone wanna go SMU from 12pm onwards tmr? Got fashion bazaar =D

*i'll upload some photos at my next post. I am (still) very tired now.

Oh ya i got my module. Understanding globalisation for a whooping 480 pts.
I don understanding freshies. Why they push up these two sems cors pts so high.

HAIZ
Oh well, at least i got my modules.

2008-01-07T20:25:00.000+08:00

Keng made me cry yst. But i learnt to understand more.

"Friend problem" yst but God guided me through. Thank you God. Thank you keng soon.
I wrote out some verses from psalm 6 yst and pasted on my display window beside my bed. It really comforted me amongst all e hassle and bustle.

Pslam 6:9
The Lord has heard my plea;
the Lord will answer my prayer

He did...
The fren issue was over by the next time. So was e tention btw me and keng
God proves to be good again and again...

My cell peeps came over for a baking date today.
FUN!
Sarah was SUPER patient. You wanna be a teacher next time? You'll do well!!!

Jialin and jasmine chatted online
It's been a long time
I called sharon to show her i still rmb her n misses her

It's been a great holiday i guess
Can't wait for clique outing
=D

*jialin is such a darling
Sam also =)
jas also =)
keng also =)

sushi is so blessed

2008-01-05T21:08:00.000+08:00

I felt so screwed up today.

I found out at 8.50pm that i am supposed to sign up for lab slots and when i logged in, the one my friends are in is already fully booked.

I cried.
I felt so pissed.

Oh well, what to do. Just do project with any tom dick of harry then i tot.
God provided for me. I found my friends i did the CA for LSM2102 with.
And i found out weiqi and jess are doing the same lab as me.
The prof is good also. Norbert lemming.

Hope this bad situation will turn out to be a very promising one.

Paula deanda featuring Bow Wow- Easy

2008-01-05T11:14:00.001+08:00

I love this song's background music!!! Groovy...

2008-01-04T22:06:00.000+08:00

Do you guys rmb these sweets? I've been trying to hunt HIGH and LOW for them...and i found them at Clementi!!! =D Sweet memories when i was in pri sch, they were my staple food.

I din know mentos has chewing gum. This pack kept me company the whole of lsm2102

The flares during NY eve....=D
Keng soon brought me to watch...=)

Oh ya, i forgot...
I found those sweets cause Sam sam was late =D I thank God for her being late =)
I learn how to blade better =D but my skates broke. Oh well, those were old skates.
And the mac and playground and everythingy in west coast ROCKS...
I wonder why no one goes there....
The mac was a dream...so pretti the toilet and the water feature...
AIYA, FORGOT TO TAKE PHOTOS

There are swings for couples there as well...a sand place place where you can play beach balls and many fun MOVABLE playground rope elements and stuff like tat..

I wanna go west coast again to play again: maybe i'll bring shuqi and shumin and keng soon there along the next time(or a.k.a All the kids i know... HAHA...)
Opps, i just said that keng is a kid.
=P

Maybe jialin, jas and sharon too!~
HAHA...

All the kids i know

Paula Deanda ft. Baby Bash - Doing Too Much SUBSCRIBE NOW!

2008-01-04T11:46:00.001+08:00

I'm leaving messages and voicemails
Telling you I miss you
Baby, am I doing too much (too much)
Why you tryna diss me
When I just wanna kiss you
Baby, am I doing too much (too much)
Tell me what's the issue
Who I give these lips to
Baby, am I doing too much (too much)
This is turning into
Something I ain't hip to
Baby, am I doing too much (too much)

See you got me all alone
Waiting right here by the phone
For you to call me just to hear your voice tone
I keep on wondering if you was even feeling me
I keep on wondering if this was even meant to be
Tell me I'ma waste ya time
Boy, you showing me no sign
Is it 'cause you on ya grind
'Cause you're always on my mind

I keep wondering if everything you said was true
I keep wondering if you were really coming through

Now here I go again blowing you up
And my girlfriends keep telling me I'm doing too much

Now here I go again blowing you up
And my girlfriends keep telling me I'm doing too much

I'm leaving messages and voicemails
Telling you I miss you
Baby, am I doing too much (too much)
Why you tryna diss me
When I just wanna kiss you
Baby, am I doing too much (too much)
Tell me what's the issue
Who I give these lips to
Baby, am I doing too much (too much)
This is turning into
Something I ain't hip to
Baby, am I doing too much (too much)

I'm out with my girls tryna have a good time
And you know I'm looking fly tryna meet some other guys
But it gets hard sometimes 'cause there ain't no one just like you
I try my best, but I can't shake this thing you got me going through

All I can picture is the color of your eyes, and the way you make me smile
I ain't felt this in a while
But I came to a conclusion that this is pure illusion
Chaos and confusion, but I'm not gonna let it ruin

The way I feel about myself 'cause I have self-esteem
Sometimes I wonder if I'm just chasing a fantasy

The way I feel about myself 'cause I have self-esteem
Sometimes I wonder if I'm just chasing a fantasy

I'm leaving messages and voicemails
Telling you I miss you
Baby, am I doing too much (too much)
Why you tryna diss me
When I just wanna kiss you
Baby, am I doing too much (too much)
Tell me what's the issue
Who I give these lips to
Baby, am I doing too much (too much)
This is turning into
Something I ain't hip to
Baby, am I doing too much (too much)

Just leave ya name and number
And I'ma holla at cha
Just leave ya name and number
And I'ma holla at cha
Just leave ya name and number
And I'ma holla at cha
Just leave ya name and number
And I'ma holla at cha

Ronnie Rey, all day
Women in the hall way
Ev'day losing track of the people tryna call me
Don't take this the wrong way, I been having long days
Doing it, moving round the town wherever I'm getting my song played

Now here I go again blowing you up
And my girlfriends keep telling me I'm doing too much

Now here I go again blowing you up
And my girlfriends keep telling me I'm doing too much

I'm leaving messages and voicemails
Telling you I miss you
Baby, am I doing too much (too much)
Why you tryna diss me
When I just wanna kiss you
Baby, am I doing too much (too much)
Tell me what's the issue
Who I give these lips to
Baby, am I doing too much (too much)
This is turning into
Something I ain't hip to
Baby, am I doing too much (too much)

Doing too much

2008-01-03T11:08:00.000+08:00

New year resolutions:
1) Study more
2) See keng soon lesser
3) Catch up with sharon, jas, jialin and my jc frens
4) Shop less
5) Save more
6) Read more
7) Sleep ealier
8) Be a better person
9) Eat more healthier
10) Have more exercise
11) Spend more time at home
12) Study more *haha

12 of them =D
People, pls help me keep to my resolution

Tmr blading with SAM!!!~ =D
Excited!!!

2007-12-30T09:25:00.000+08:00

Do you guys rmb all these??
1. You grew up watching He-man, MASK, Transformers, Silver Hawk andMickey Mouse. Not to forget Ninja Turtles, My Little Pony andSmurfs too..
2. You grew up brushing your teeth with a mug in Primary school duringrecess time. You will squat by a drain with all your classmates besideyou, and brush your teeth with a coloured mug.The teachers said youmust brush each side 10 times too.
3. You know what SBC stands for.
4. You pay 40 cents for Chocolate or Strawberry MILK every week inclass.
5. You watch a very popular Malay dubbed Japanese drama on RTM1 aboutschoolgirls who possess powerful skills in volleyball called MeoroAttack.
6. You find your friends with pagers and handphone cool in Secondaryschool.
7. SBS buses used to be non-airconditioned. The bus seats are made ofwood and the cushion is red. The big red bell gives a loud BEEP! whenpressed.. There are colourful tickets forTIBS buses. The conductor will checkfor tickets by using a machine which punches a hole in the ticket. 8. Envelopes given to us to donate to Sharity Elephant everyChildren's Day.
9. You've probably read Young Generation magazine.You know who's Vinnythe little vampire and Acai the constable.
10. You were there when they first introduced MRT here. You went forthe first ride with your parents and you would kneel on the seat tosee the scenery.
11. Movie tickets used to cost only $3.50.
12. Gals are fascinated by Strawberry Short Cake and Barbie Dolls.
13. You learn to laugh like The Count in Sesame Street .
14. You longed to buy tibits called Kaka (20 cents per pack), and DingDang (50 cents per box), that had a toy in it and it changes everyweek.Not forgetting the
15 cents animal crackers and the ring pop, wherethe lollipop is the diamond on the ring. 15. You watched TV2 (also known as Channel 10) cartoons becauseChannel 5 never had enough cartoons for you.
16. Hardy Boys, Nancy Drew, The Three Investigators, Famous Five andSecret Seven are probably the thickest story books you ever thoughtyou have read.Even Sweet Valley High and Malory Towers .
17. KFC used to be a high class restaurant that serve food in platesand let you use metal forks and knives.
18. The most vulgar thing you said was asshole and idiot and THE MOSTEXTREME WAS 'super white'... you just couldn't bring yourself to saythe hokkien relative.
19. Catching was the IN thing and twist as the magic word.
20. Your English workbooks was made of some damn poor quality paperthat was smooth and yellow.
21. CDIS were your bestfriend.
22. The only computer lessons in school involved funny pixellisedcharacters in 16 colours walking about trying to teach you maths.
23. Waterbottles were slinged around your neck and a must everywhereyou go.
24. Boys loved to play soccer with small plastic balls in thebasketball court.
25. Teng-teng, five stones, chapteh, hentam bola and zero point wereall the rage with the girls and boys too...
26. Science was fun with the balsam and the angsana being the mostimportant plants of our lives, guppies and swordtail being the mostimportant fish.
27. Who can forget Ahmad, Bala, Sumei and John, eternalized in ourminds from the textbooks. Even Mr Wally & Mr. Yakki. What abt MissLala???And Zaki and Tini in Malay Textbooks?
28. We carry out experiments of our own to get ourself badges forbeing a Young Zoologist/Botanist etc.
29. Every Children's day and National day you either get pins or penswith 'Happy Children's Day 1993' or dumb files with 'Happy NationalDay 1994'.
30. In Primary six you had to play buddy for the younger kids like bigsister and brother.
31. We wear BM2000, BATA, or Pallas shoes.
32. Your form teacher taught you Maths, Science and English.
33. The worksheets were made of brown rough paper of poor quality.
34. You went to school in slippers and a raincoat when it rained, andyou find a dry spot in the school to sit down, dry your feet, and wearyour dry and warm socks and shoes.
35. School dismissal time was normally around 1 pm.
36. There would be spelling tests and mental sums to do almosteveryday.
37. Your friends considered you lucky and rich if your parents gaveyou $3 or more for pocket money everyday.
38. You see Wee Kim Wee's face in the school hall.
39. You freak out when the teacher tells you to line up according toheight and hold hands with the corresponding boy or girl.
40. Boys like to catch fighting spiders.
41. Collecting and battling erasers was a pastime for boys.
42. Autograph books were loaded with 'Best Wishes', 'Forget Me Not',and small poems like 'Bird fly high, hard catch.Friend like you, hardto forget'.
43. Class monitors and prefects loved to say 'You talk somemore, Iwrite your name ah!' 44. There were at least 40 people in one class.
45. Large, colourful schoolbags were carried.
50. You brought every single book to school, even though there was onething called the timetable.

2007-12-30T00:15:00.000+08:00

John 14
Jesus Comforts His Disciples
1"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God[a]; trust also in me.
2In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you.
3And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.

How comforting... =D

I had a wonderful holiday i guess. God realli brought me through this year. I had sucky results but it could have been MUCH much worse considering the situation this sem.

Haven been blogging much.. I haven been taking much pics cause i've like got serious acne. Haiz..

Oh well, i'll try to post my x'mas prezzies from people soon!!

Things i wanna do before sch starts:
1) Go eat 1 more buffet/food trip with mr wong
2) Prepare my rm for next sem (i haven been staying at home)
3) Go blading with sam, 4th jan!!!
4) Bake with jialin
5) Meet up with my jc cliques and old frens
6) Read finish the bks i borrowed
7) Bid for my modules? LOL
8) Lose more weight
9) Learn to be more forgiving and patient?
10) A lot of other stuff...

Can sch don start soon... Janet still wants to play

*lol...i'm getting very sloth like...
Sin ar...................................................................

2007-12-21T23:32:00.000+08:00

Methodist
"In the name of God, I, ______, take you, ______, to be my husband/wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow."

I wonder. How many a time when a guy say these words and mean what he says.
To love and cherish.
I want a guy who loves me and i have the vibe that he does. I mean, i don wan a guy who only expresses himself when pressed to. I rather kiss the wall. (just a statment, not literally)

Today's cell was great. =D Watched star dust and understood the show. Thanks to sarah and the rest of the gang. Thanks to dom and the rest of the cell family for the food. Seriously, the food was good. Just that the slurpey gas din go well in my tummy. Oh well, i still enjoyed the potato salad...*YUMMY!

Recipe anyone???

Things to look forward to:
Meet up with my JC clique
Meet up with jasmine tmr: meet ben tmr
Cell on sun
Tribe x'mas thingy on mon: go office on mon
My scamp junior og outing next wk hopefully
Blading with sam sam...

Hope this list continues...=D

2007-12-14T10:35:00.000+08:00

Today will be day one of Northern Island Expedition!!

I'm kana excited but kana scared also. I have phobia of stormy kayaking expeditions. LOL
Not to mention water, loads of them.

I don't really have the mood to eat. This is just weird. I ate like one bowl of rice with a few peanuts and vege yst. I hope i seriously die soon. I believe like a few months like this will do.
=l Who cares anyway.

Yst, my sister cursed me be to infertile. Haiz...~
I couldn't sleep well yst...
I don like bringing my cat to the vet cause the vet always kana like charge ultra expensive and it's a freaking bother to bring the cat cause must take taxi and stuff and no one to accompany me and like hailing for a taxi and carrying the cat is like a handful.
Oh well, it my responsibility, MINE and MINE alone.
I've realised.
Oh well, infertile me. So be it.
If it makes you happy

2007-12-10T02:24:00.000+08:00

John 15:5 (NLT)

5 “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing

As i enjoy my holiday, i can't help but worry abt my results, but i am reminded that i can do nothing if i don place my trust and faith with God.. therefore i believe and am much comforted that God will provide =D

2007-11-29T05:42:00.000+08:00

1 Chronicles 16:8 (New International Version)
8 Give thanks to the LORD, call on his name;
make known among the nations what he has done.

Was looing for some spiritual solace and was surfing through the net when i rmbed the times when i check my blog everyday for my daily bread and will reflect upon it. As the sem past, i grew lazy and pre-occupied with other worldy achievements that i din read the bible anymore. Sorry God, it seems like i'm always neglecting you. I really am not deserving of Your self-less and unconditional love for me.

And yes, as i was saying. The verse ask us to call on his name and give thanks to the Lord. I believe there must be a reason for the order. So to me, it is always good to give thanks to Him in appreciation of all the things He did before you call on his name and proclaim his greatness. Cause i guess it's kana interlinked. When you give thanks to Him, you are in some ways proclaiming His name and making known among the nations what He has done also. =D

But seriously, i need to change. I've backslided so much i can't even see me anymore. *i'm scare.. Where is the shuyi i know?

I need some God anointed fire and gentle hands to mould me back. With a well deserved rest credited from God after my exams and some alone and quiet time, i pray i will be again rejuvenated and well armed for my next phase in life. This time, i will cease to block and forget God...

3 more hrs to my SSA1201. God will deliver, i am not afraid.

=D
Off to bath soon...

2007-11-28T16:31:00.000+08:00

lalalala....one more module after tomorrow...i haven really slept for like 72 hours...
I had LSM2103 and gek 2500 on monday, lsm2101 on tues and today sc2101. Tmr is my ssa1201.

One more LSM2102 and i am off to play...
=) I don really feel very stressed when doing my papers this semester. Think God was keeping me calm and collected. Onward to my last marathon paper tmr so i can go off and have a long good rest.

Thanks sam for taking care of my younger sisters =D

I thank God for giving me good friends, i know now that i don't have to please anyone on this earth...i just need to please God...cause He alway provides.

I can't wait to meet up with Juit Lian, Joey, Joan, Kiat Yi, Mr Lai, Serene, Fern, Jialin, Sharon, Vee, Miss Chan, Jasmine, Sam sam, my cell peeps, keng soon's spiritual father and so many more people during the holiday. I wanna hang out with my canoe peeps also. =D Wanna to get to know them more.

Till after exams, i'll go and hiberate somemore to mug my remaining modules..

People, do you look forward to my return?? HAHA

*keng soon...do you sense less time for you? Haha

2007-11-04T00:31:00.000+08:00

seriously, i donno whether it is just me or that i am just sensitive...

One nice day during lecture when the lecturer was commenting about obesity and leptin, i said that the fat rats were very cute. Then you said: you eat some more and become like them lor.

Okay...i feel, it wasn't very nice. 1stly, i already feel like i am the ugliest person in e whole entire earth since i was 12 and when my friends called me decomposers. I don think i need to be constantly reminded of how awlful i look or that i can never measure up. Thanks. Not to mention, i once won a poll online for the ugliest in class or something like that. Somehow i don think i need anymore recognition of this kind. It hurts and it still does.

Thanks

2007-10-28T05:58:00.001+08:00

Someone said i needed to change conformation in order to walk up the gap of the LT26 to get to my seat. And further more, even if i eat pills i won be able to achieve that.

I broke down that day.

It simply just broke me down after a long and tiring and depressing week.
That statement simply didn't help. I can't help it if i am like fat rite?

I feel like just not eating for the next hundred years of my life.

2007-10-18T11:44:00.000+08:00

Keng soon has graduated from post encounter. And where am i?

Haiz...
I don't really know what to do with my life. I kana know and i kana don't.
Crazy eh?

But i know...
I don feel like going church for a while.
I don feel like belong.
I don feel i ever will...

And seeing how much keng soon is enjoying his time just makes me wanna bang my head more.
Why?
Why do i not feel i belong?

2007-10-16T21:14:00.001+08:00

I don't feel like going church. I donno why. I am starting to have the why should i bother feeling again. Sobs..

2007-10-16T21:14:00.000+08:00

I don't feel like going church. I donno why. I am starting to have the why should i bother feeling again. Sobs..

2007-10-11T16:35:00.000+08:00

think God is good...i didn have the time to go out and shop, He brought shopping to me. Bazaar in ARTS rocks. =)

http://miss-dainty.blogspot.com

Superb shop. They deliver as promise. Reasonable prize. Nice shop-keepers and fab clothes. =D

2007-10-09T21:27:00.001+08:00

new shop links up! =D i'm been spending A LOT of money. BAD shuyi BAD

2007-10-04T21:03:00.001+08:00

I tried so hard and got so far
In the end..does it really matter?

I wonder...
I feel like crying now.
Do i really matter?

2007-09-27T14:55:00.000+08:00

Today, while i took a break from my project, i went to my blog webbie and saw sam's tag. I felt so much better. =) Feels like a friend behind me when i'm all alone in sch...and doing a project when i'm nt even done with studying...especially metab...HAIZ

Then i saw e biblegateway verse of the day

Matthew 6:33 (NLT)
33 Seek the Kingdom of God[a] above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.

I think God rocks socks...He knows..

2007-09-26T19:37:00.000+08:00

i'll love to be my lecturer's lecturer one day.

So i can torture them by lecturing real fast and then after that asking them to study everything in one go and seat for exams. That will be real cool.

2007-09-22T09:26:00.001+08:00

Blog having mid sem study break. Will update when all my craziness are over.

2007-09-19T10:03:00.000+08:00

Blogged down by work. My frustration with the lack of time and discipline langers.
Motivation drops with the bleak road ahead.

It doesn't help sometimes when i don't get basic respect or treatment.

I need to vent my anger and frustration and anxiousness and worries before i become mad.
Or else, i am seriously on the brink of breakdown.

2007-09-17T09:37:00.000+08:00

Yesterday when kengsoon and i was looking at some thingy on my home computer...
A miracle happened...

Kengsoon: Hey, your screen has a dead pixel.
Me: Ya, i know... It's been there since the com was delivered and set up. My dad scolded me for not being there to check e goods.... =l
Me: Touch touch the pixel...
Both: Hey, the pixel seems to be flickering...
Me: Starts to pray: Father, i pray that this dead pixel will be restored and that it will be good and be made to good use... In the name of Jesus Christ, this dead pixel will be...

Pixel flickers more as i touch it more and prays.
Pixel stop flickering and is not red in colour anymore.

Kengsoon: The pixel is not dead anymore! (haha, i say until so drama...)
Me: YA! Oh my goodness, i'm gonna tell my daddy man!

*this really happened. God is really very good. I had my dead pixel for like...1/2/3years? I can't remember.

=D

2007-09-15T21:07:00.001+08:00

I wanna holidays to come. So i can go out with my friends!!

2007-09-12T08:56:00.001+08:00

I am at home!! WhEEEEEeeeeeEE!

2007-09-10T11:33:00.000+08:00

It's been a LONG time since i've baked. Maybe this thurs break ba =)

God: You really made me see how wretched i am. I pray You'll continue to transform me and by transforming me transform my workplace and others as well.

=D

2007-09-06T12:52:00.000+08:00

John 14:23 (New Living Translation)

Jesus replied, “All who love me will do what I say.
My Father will love them, and we will come and make our home with each of them.

2007-09-06T12:49:00.000+08:00

Did You Feel The Mountains Tremble?

Did you feel the mountains tremble?
Did you hear the oceans roar?
When the people rose to sing ofJesus Christ the risen one

Did you feel the people tremble?
Did you hear the singers roar?
When the lost began to sing ofJesus Christ the risen one

And we can see that God you're moving
A mighty river through the nations
And young and old will turn to Jesus
Fling wide your heavenly gates
Prepare the way of the risen Lord

Open up the doors and let the music play
Let the streets resound with singing
Songs that bring your hope
Songs that bring your joy
Dancers who dance upon injustice

Did you feel the darkness tremble?
When all the saints join in one song
And all the streams flow as one river
To wash away our brokeness

And here we see that God you're moving
A time of Jubilee is coming
When young and old return to Jesus
Fling wide your heavenly gates
Prepare the way of the risen Lord

2007-09-03T11:46:00.000+08:00

I feel like crying now. I realli feel very overwhelmed by all the work i wanna do/ haven do/ need to do..

God, how can i cope with all these over whelming and near ending work and deadlines that threatens to swarm me over?

2007-08-27T19:30:00.000+08:00

Isaiah 26:3
You will keep in perfect peace
all who trust in you,
all whose thoughts are fixed on you!

Kind of something that i really need after a MUCH scary day of the week.
I hate mondays.
I get reminded of deadlines and i get bombed by LOADS of work. WORK WORK WORK.
I'm sooooo sianz daoz. =l

Well, but i was reminded of the peace that God offers when i ask for it. Also, i shldn't feel no fear...cause God is with me. =)

So...ya...i'll just need to pray more and worry less and do more i guess.
100% man, 100% God
100% friends and church peeps and keng soon and family and iffy (my pet cat) also la.
I love all my 100%s

WAHAHA...my maths is failing..
I have 300% in my life.
=D

2007-08-25T20:32:00.000+08:00

Today was soooo unproductive.
I hardly revised anything. I just slept and slept and slept.
=l
Oh well, maybe cause it's been two wks since i can sleep properly. I am so super tired. Bees and wasps and flies keep flying into my room and i HATE it.

I can't sleep properly in RVR. Everything (except my room maybe) is SOOO dirty. I hate staying inside my room. I only go back to sleep.

And i wake up so early everytime i have lessons.
SOBS****

Well, i'll just have to endure i guess. There are good pts abt my room though. There are no mozzies so far due to the ever large population of lizards there (which explains the huge amount of lizard shit as well). The room is always cool. Hmmmm... Cheers is 24/7 during semester periods. And they are having promotions for chocolates (2 for $2.10 and 2 M&M you'll get a free cute correction tape =D)... Laundry is free and drying only needs 20cents. (A far cry from expensive laundry days in PGP). But it is ALWAYS impossible to do laundry because all the blks share one laundry pt. HAIZ (The dryer is always occupied.)

But i have a lot to thank God for...
For giving me the energy and stength to last the wk (wk after wk) without breaking down and cry yet.
For supporting me through my lonely room days.
For...the wonderful RAs of my blk. The girl RA actually bought us a pink cute hand wash dispenser for the girl's toilet.
For my friends who never fail to eat lunch, dinner and etc etc
For meeting my sec sch frens who just entered uni (polystudents)
For not excessively sleeping in lectures.
For my papa who gave me food to eat and is still excessively feeding me at home rite down.
(he brought me a vaccuum cleaner for my room so i can clean it faster.. =D)

So many things to thank God for....

Well, He never cease to provide. =)

2007-08-23T16:01:00.000+08:00

Long LOng LONg LONG week for me. [last week]

Firstly, school started and there seems to be a hundred and one things to be done. Buy textbook, sell textbook, ballot for tutorial, get coursepack, print notes, get NUSSU diary etc etc

Canoe camp? One star booth?

So much to do, so little time.
=l

BUT:

I seriously thank PAPA in heaven for bringing me through the week. I din particularly feel super duper duper tired despite serious lack of my beauty sleep hours. LOL

I also managed to spend time with keng soon.
Oh, he is having his quiz right now. People people, pray for him k?
Pray he'll do super well and give God the glory!!

=D
Okok...back to serious business of studying. Just wanna break after a brief cleaning of my room.
Till then, take care peeps.

2007-08-19T19:58:00.000+08:00

Canoe camp was superbly fun but superbly tiring.
1stly: I din know i was xenophobic. LOL
I don't like e ang mohs who came. Or rather, i don kana like how they treated me. Hello people? I am not your wife/maid/servant. Treat me with RESPECT. I am cleaning and cooking and blah blah for you.
2ndly, i LOVE locals. They do things without asking. They say their please and thanks. They ask us if we need help. Ahhhh... First time i feel so appreciative of Singaporeans.
3rdly, I love GOD!!! The weather though raining, wasn't as bad as NIE. Thank God. Also i wanna thank Him for keeping us and keng soon (expediation leader) safe. =) I knew i can count on You God. =D

Lastly,

i managed to spend very quality time with ks =D
With school well on it's way and stuff..
I really appreciate the time i spend with him.
Every min, every sec and everynanosec of my life.

Oh ya,
interesting fact of the day.
White bread repels keng soon like SAF insect repellant to commando mozzies.

=D
Have a nice wk 2 of sem 1 people

2007-08-16T23:30:00.001+08:00

i really suffered from a HUGE headache today
SERIOUSLY...
the sports bazaar was like a combination of talking people, blasting music and shouting DJs.

I am so apologetic to Keng soon. Haiz.
I think i was very crappy today. Attitude and all.

I seriously repented.
I wanted to bang my residence rm wall down when i got back. =l

*bad day...
Haiz...

And i haven mention the nonchalent attitude of people of my cca.
But oh well, I have God papa to lean on.
Oh ya, i haven been praying for the people i committed to bless. Haiz...
HAIZ...HAIZ...HAIZ....

God shld be my piority. I better make sure.

2007-08-15T22:29:00.000+08:00

I am like SUPER duper SUPER worried for keng soon.
He is like ubber stressed.
Everyone..pray for him please.
Please people be nice and give him a good time.

I'm so useless..there is nothing much i can do for him. Sobs.

2007-08-14T06:45:00.001+08:00

I din bring enough clothes to school AGAIN.
Haiz...donno what is my problem.
I was so tired yesterday that i slept. Without doing any productive things before that.
I better start getting into my routine and help KS do tat also.
I'm committed to your success!!!

Till then...i better start mugging my bible before my 8-10,10-12, 12-2 lessons start. TATA!

2007-08-13T21:56:00.000+08:00

My new room in NUS rocks socks. Thanks to my heavenly PAPA for providing for me =)

My younger sister got consolidated!! Under SAM!!~
And also...
i felt so touched when she cried when she read e bible. She was touched by God's word tat we should not worry...

I pray that with time, she'll grow to love the Lord more and that she will grow in leaps and bounds with God's grace and Sam's wisdom, love, care and leadership.

I also thank God for asking me to commit my all to Him.
I've never felt so rejuvenated and at peace with myself for so long.
=D

Psalm 23
A psalm of David.
1 The Lord is my shepherd;
I have all that I need.
2 He lets me rest in green meadows;
he leads me beside peaceful streams.
3 He renews my strength.
He guides me along right paths,
bringing honor to his name.
4 Even when I walk
through the darkest valley,[a]
I will not be afraid,
for you are close beside me.
Your rod and your staff
protect and comfort me.
5 You prepare a feast for me
in the presence of my enemies.
You honor me by anointing my head with oil.
My cup overflows with blessings.
6 Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me
all the days of my life,
and I will live in the house of the Lord
forever.

2007-08-12T22:43:00.000+08:00

I realised something. The evil one likes to attack people when they are growing close to God. Also, the evil one chooses time when they are weak.

Today, i was attacked by the spirit of fear.
Fear about? Hmmm...
Almost everything i guess.

I tried calling and searching my mind with bible verses.
But in vain.
Finally, sharon really comforted me. Simply by answering my call i guess. Almost immediately.

Guess, when God says, seek me and you shall find.
He wasn't kidding.
He was there for me all the way.

Thank God for keng soon's prayer also.
I felt comforted immediately.
After a talk, a simple dinner and a movie [HBO] and a simple chat with my parents.
My hearts and hopes are renewed.

I feel God is drawing me closer to Him yet again.
And not to mention, His timely remainder to surrender my heart to Him and Him alone.
Strangely, when i surrender my all to Him...feelings and maturity of mind i've never encountered before surfaced.

God. You are indeed good.
All the time.

Still learning to put You first.

2007-08-12T01:05:00.001+08:00

Trust me, if you were to ask me what season it is for me now, i'll tell you that this is the season of much spirit led revelations, crying, repentence, asking for forgiveness and renewal of commitment to God.

I felt so touched by my spiritual daddy today.

2007-08-12T00:53:00.000+08:00

It's time i commit myself to finish reading the word of God.

Comprehensive Bible Reading Plan (365 Days)
Ready for the incredible privilege and adventure of reading the Bible through cover to cover? We hope so! It takes only about fifteen minutes a day. Enjoy! As you read, ask the Lord to help you see the redemptive story of the Bible. It's the heartbeat of every book from Genesis to Revelation.

Today's Scripture Reading
Day 1
Genesis 1-3
Day 2
Genesis 4-6
Day 3
Genesis 7-9
Day 4
Genesis 10-12
Day 5
Genesis 13-15
Day 6
Genesis 16-18
Day 7
Genesis 19-21
Day 8
Genesis 22-24
Day 9
Genesis 25-27
Day 10
Genesis 28-30
Day 11
Genesis 31-33
Day 12
Genesis 34-36
Day 13
Genesis 37-39
Day 14
Genesis 40-42
Day 15
Genesis 43-46
Day 16
Genesis 47-50
Day 17
Exodus 1-3
Day 18
Exodus 4-6
Day 19
Exodus 7-9
Day 20
Exodus 10-12
Day 21
Exodus 13-15
Day 22
Exodus 16-18
Day 23
Exodus 19-21
Day 24
Exodus 22-24
Day 25
Exodus 25-27
Day 26
Exodus 28-30
Day 27
Exodus 31-33
Day 28
Exodus 34-36
Day 29
Exodus 37-40
Day 30
Leviticus 1-3
Day 31
Leviticus 4-6
Day 32
Leviticus 7-9
Day 33
Leviticus 10-12
Day 34
Leviticus 13-15
Day 35
Leviticus 16-18
Day 36
Leviticus 19-21
Day 37
Leviticus 22-24
Day 38
Leviticus 25-27
Day 39
Numbers 1-3
Day 40
Numbers 4-6
Day 41
Numbers 7-9
Day 42
Numbers 10-12
Day 43
Numbers 13-15
Day 44
Numbers 16-18
Day 45
Numbers 19-21
Day 46
Numbers 22-24
Day 47
Numbers 25-27
Day 48
Numbers 28-30
Day 49
Numbers 31-33
Day 50
Numbers 34-36
Day 51
Deuteronomy 1-3
Day 52
Deuteronomy 4-6
Day 53
Deuteronomy 7-9
Day 54
Deuteronomy 10-12
Day 55
Deuteronomy 13-15
Day 56
Deuteronomy 16-18
Day 57
Deuteronomy 19-21
Day 58
Deuteronomy 22-24
Day 59
Deuteronomy 25-27
Day 60
Deuteronomy 28-30
Day 61
Deuteronomy 31-34
Day 62
Joshua 1-3
Day 63
Joshua 4-6
Day 64
Joshua 7-9
Day 65
Joshua 10-12
Day 66
Joshua 13-15
Day 67
Joshua 16-18
Day 68
Joshua 19-21
Day 69
Joshua 22-24
Day 70
Judges 1-3
Day 71
Judges 4-6
Day 72
Judges 7-9
Day 73
Judges 10-12
Day 74
Judges 13-15
Day 75
Judges 16-18
Day 76
Judges 19-21
Day 77
Ruth 1-4
Day 78 (i'm currently here)
1 Samuel 1-3
Day 79
1 Samuel 4-6
Day 80
1 Samuel 7-9
Day 81
1 Samuel 10-12
Day 82
1 Samuel 13-15
Day 83
1 Samuel 16-18
Day 84
1 Samuel 19-21
Day 85
1 Samuel 22-24
Day 86
1 Samuel 25-27
Day 87
1 Samuel 28-31
Day 88
2 Samuel 1-3
Day 89
2 Samuel 4-6
Day 90
2 Samuel 7-9
Day 91
2 Samuel 10-12
Day 92
2 Samuel 13-15
Day 93
2 Samuel 16-18
Day 94
2 Samuel 19-21
Day 95
2 Samuel 22-24
Day 96
1 Kings 1-3
Day 97
1 Kings 4-6
Day 98
1 Kings 7-9
Day 99
1 Kings 10-12
Day 100
1 Kings 13-15
Day 101
1 Kings 16-18
Day 102
1 Kings 19-22
Day 103
2 Kings 1-3
Day 104
2 Kings 4-6
Day 105
2 Kings 7-9
Day 106
2 Kings 10-12
Day 107
2 Kings 13-15
Day 108
2 Kings 16-18
Day 109
2 Kings 19-21
Day 110
2 Kings 22-25
Day 111
1 Chronicles 4-6
Day 112
1 Chronicles 7-9
Day 113
1 Chronicles 10-12
Day 114
1 Chronicles 13-15
Day 115
1 Chronicles 16-18
Day 116
1 Chronicles 19-21
Day 117
1 Chronicles 22-25
Day 118
1 Chronicles 26-29
Day 119
2 Chronicles 1-3
Day 120
2 Chronicles 4-6
Day 121
2 Chronicles 7-9
Day 122
2 Chronicles 10-12
Day 123
2 Chronicles 13-15
Day 124
2 Chronicles 16-18
Day 125
2 Chronicles 19-21
Day 126
2 Chronicles 22-24
Day 127
2 Chronicles 25-27
Day 128
2 Chronicles 28-30
Day 129
2 Chronicles 31-33
Day 130
2 Chronicles 34-36
Day 131
Ezra 1-3
Day 132
Ezra 4-6
Day 133
Ezra 7-10
Day 134
Nehemiah 1-3
Day 135
Nehemiah 4-6
Day 136
Nehemiah 7-9
Day 137
Nehemiah 10-13
Day 138
Esther 1-3
Day 139
Esther 4-6
Day 140
Esther 7-10
Day 141
Job 1-3
Day 142
Job 4-6
Day 143
Job 7-9
Day 144
Job 10-12
Day 145
Job 13-15
Day 146
Job 16-18
Day 147
Job 19-21
Day 148
Job 22-24
Day 149
Job 25-27
Day 150
Job 28-30
Day 151
Job 31-33
Day 152
Job 34-36
Day 153
Job 37-39
Day 154
Job 40-42
Day 155
Psalms 1-5
Day 156
Psalms 6-10
Day 157
Psalms 11-15
Day 158
Psalms 16-20
Day 159
Psalms 21-25
Day 160
Psalms 26-30
Day 161
Psalms 31-35
Day 162
Psalms 36-40
Day 163
Psalms 41-45
Day 164
Psalms 46-50
Day 165
Psalms 51-55
Day 166
Psalms 56-60
Day 167
Psalms 61-65
Day 168
Psalms 66-70
Day 169
Psalms 71-75
Day 170
Psalms 76-80
Day 171
Psalms 81-85
Day 172
Psalms 86-90
Day 173
Psalms 91-95
Day 174
Psalms 96-100
Day 175
Psalms 101-105
Day 176
Psalms 106-110
Day 177
Psalms 111-115
Day 178
Psalms 116-120
Day 179
Psalms 121-125
Day 180
Psalms 126-130
Day 181
Psalms 131-135
Day 182
Psalms 136-140
Day 183
Psalms 141-145
Day 184
Psalms 146-150
Day 185
Proverbs 1-3
Day 186
Proverbs 4-6
Day 187
Proverbs 7-9
Day 188
Proverbs 10-12
Day 189
Proverbs 13-15
Day 190
Proverbs 16-18
Day 191
Proverbs 19-21
Day 192
Proverbs 22-24
Day 193
Proverbs 25-27
Day 194
Proverbs 28-31
Day 195
Ecclesiastes 1-3
Day 196
Ecclesiastes 4-6
Day 197
Ecclesiastes 7-9
Day 198
Ecclesiastes 10-12
Day 199
Song of Songs 1-4
Day 200
Song of Songs 5-8
Day 201
Isaiah 1-3
Day 202
Isaiah 4-6
Day 203
Isaiah 7-9
Day 204
Isaiah 10-12
Day 205
Isaiah 13-15
Day 206
Isaiah 16-18
Day 207
Isaiah 19-21
Day 208
Isaiah 22-24
Day 209
Isaiah 25-27
Day 210
Isaiah 28-30
Day 211
Isaiah 31-33
Day 212
Isaiah 34-36
Day 213
Isaiah 37-39
Day 214
Isaiah 40-42
Day 215
Isaiah 43-45
Day 216
Isaiah 46-48
Day 217
Isaiah 49-51
Day 218
Isaiah 52-54
Day 219
Isaiah 55-57
Day 220
Isaiah 58-60
Day 221
Isaiah 61-63
Day 222
Isaiah 64-66
Day 223
Jeremiah 1-3
Day 224
Jeremiah 4-6
Day 225
Jeremiah 7-9
Day 226
Jeremiah 10-12
Day 227
Jeremiah 13-15
Day 228
Jeremiah 16-18
Day 229
Jeremiah 19-21
Day 230
Jeremiah 22-24
Day 231
Jeremiah 25-27
Day 232
Jeremiah 28-30
Day 233
Jeremiah 31-33
Day 234
Jeremiah 34-36
Day 235
Jeremiah 37-39
Day 236
Jeremiah 40-42
Day 237
Jeremiah 43-45
Day 238
Jeremiah 46-48
Day 239
Jeremiah 49-52
Day 240
Lamentations 1-3
Day 241
Lamentations 4-5
Day 242
Ezekiel 1-3
Day 243
Ezekiel 4-6
Day 244
Ezekiel 7-9
Day 245
Ezekiel 10-12
Day 246
Ezekiel 13-15
Day 247
Ezekiel 16-18
Day 248
Ezekiel 19-21
Day 249
Ezekiel 22-24
Day 250
Ezekiel 25-27
Day 251
Ezekiel 28-30
Day 252
Ezekiel 31-33
Day 253
Ezekiel 34-36
Day 254
Ezekiel 37-40
Day 255
Ezekiel 41-44
Day 256
Ezekiel 45-48
Day 257
Daniel 1-3
Day 258
Daniel 4-6
Day 259
Daniel 7-9
Day 260
Daniel 10-12
Day 261
Hosea 1-3
Day 262
Hosea 4-6
Day 263
Hosea 7-10
Day 264
Hosea 11-14
Day 265
Joel 1-3
Day 266
Amos 1-3
Day 267
Amos 4-6
Day 268
Amos 7-9
Day 269
Obadiah
Day 270
Jonah 1-4
Day 271
Micah 1-3
Day 272
Micah 4-7
Day 273
Nahum 1-3
Day 274
Habakkuk 1-3
Day 275
Zephaniah 1-3
Day 276
Haggai 1-2
Day 277
Zechariah 1-3
Day 278
Zechariah 4-6
Day 279
Zechariah 7-10
Day 280
Zechariah 11-14
Day 281
Malachi 1-2
Day 282
Malachi 3-4
Day 283
Matthew 1-3
Day 284
Matthew 4-6
Day 285
Matthew 7-9
Day 286
Matthew 10-12
Day 287
Matthew 13-15
Day 288
Matthew 16-18
Day 289
Matthew 19-21
Day 290
Matthew 22-24
Day 291
Matthew 25-28
Day 292
Mark 1-3
Day 293
Mark 4-6
Day 294
Mark 7-9
Day 295
Mark 10-12
Day 296
Mark 13-16
Day 297
Luke 1-3
Day 298
Luke 4-6
Day 299
Luke 7-9
Day 300
Luke 10-12
Day 301
Luke 13-15
Day 302
Luke 16-18
Day 303
Luke 19-21
Day 304
Luke 22-24
Day 305
John 1-3
Day 306
John 4-6
Day 307
John 7-9
Day 308
John 10-12
Day 309
John 13-15
Day 310
John 16-18
Day 311
John 19-21
Day 312
Acts 1-3
Day 313
Acts 4-6
Day 314
Acts 7-9
Day 315
Acts 10-12
Day 316
Acts 13-15
Day 317
Acts 16-18
Day 318
Acts 19-21
Day 319
Acts 22-24
Day 320
Acts 25-28
Day 321
Romans 1-3
Day 322
Romans 4-6
Day 323
Romans 7-9
Day 324
Romans 10-12
Day 325
Romans 13-16
Day 326
1 Corinthians 1-3
Day 327
1 Corinthians 4-6
Day 328
1 Corinthians 7-9
Day 329
1 Corinthians 10-12
Day 330
1 Corinthians 13-16
Day 331
2 Corinthians 1-3
Day 332
2 Corinthians 4-6
Day 333
2 Corinthians 7-9
Day 334
2 Corinthians 10-13
Day 335
Galatians 1-3
Day 336
Galatians 4-6
Day 337
Ephesians 1-3
Day 338
Ephesians 4-6
Day 339
Philippians 1-4
Day 340
Colossians 1-4
Day 341
1 Thessalonians 1-5
Day 342
2 Thessalonians 1-3
Day 343
1 Timothy 1-3
Day 344
1 Timothy 4-6
Day 345
2 Timothy 1-4
Day 346
Titus 1-3
Day 347
Philemon
Day 348
Hebrews 1-3
Day 349
Hebrews 4-6
Day 350
Hebrews 7-9
Day 351
Hebrews 10-13
Day 352
James 1-3
Day 353
James 4-5
Day 354
1 Peter 1-5
Day 355
2 Peter 1-3
Day 356
1 John 1-3
Day 357
1 John 4-5
Day 358
2 John, 3 John, and Jude
Day 359
Revelation 1-3
Day 360
Revelation 4-6
Day 361
Revelation 7-9
Day 362
Revelation 10-12
Day 363
Revelation 13-15
Day 364
Revelation 16-18
Day 365
Revelation 19-22

If you have completed this twelve-month Bible reading plan, congratulations! You may want to use the How to Read Your Bible biographical or survey plan to read Scripture again. Remember, God delights to prosper those who take him at his Word. So keep reading!

Excerpted from How to Read Your Bible by David and Renée Sanford (W Publishing Group, 2005). Copyright (C) 2005 Sanford Communications, Inc. Used by permission. All Rights Reserved.
"How to Read Your Bible is the perfect gift for anyone who wants to know God more intimately." - Rev. J. R. Whitby, president and CEO of Gospel Communications International

2007-08-10T17:35:00.000+08:00

Psalm 46:1 (NLT)
God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.

May this verse remind me that God is the source of my strength and refuge.

2007-08-10T12:57:00.000+08:00

A new day. A new beginning. =)

I'm currently re-reading boy meets girl and i kissed dating goodbye.
I'm gonna get the other book by joshua harris.

I pray that i'll get new insight and also be able to sustain a relationship that honours God.
Most importantly, i must learnt to submit the relationship to God and not keep it to myself.
And also i must learn to first be a sister to keng soon then a partner.

We should:
Build up our character independently and individually.
Be good sister and brother of Christ to each other.
Do not stumble each other.
Commit our relationship to God.
Grow closer to God.
Edify each other as well as make room for each other to grow ourselves

I need to:
Draw out guidelines to make sure what too time spent means.
What are the physical guidelines i wan to have. Are they too extreme? Are they too slack?
How can i dress appropriately?
How can i break free from my bad habits?

I must learn to be a stronger and better person. For i realised by not doing so, i'll hurt him more than i hurt myself. Sorry keng soon. =)

I'm thankful to have very wise christians surrounding me. Like my elder sis, serene, anthea, jian hui, samantha, pamala, pastor debra,jansen...etc etc

Continue to keep us and me accountable people. And may this relationship and my walk with God glorify and honour Him.
Obeying is key.

I wrote this at 10th Aug 1.06pm

2007-08-09T20:56:00.000+08:00

I cried buckets and pails yesterday and today.
I was upset because i felt so misunderstood.
I was very gald that XYZ understood my intentions.
But, i still don't find a closure about the issue.

People who know me well, hmmm, should know that when i cry...i'm super upset.
When i walked home, alone 12am yesterday, with all the bad feelings and the long dark and empty street ahead of me. My heart seriously cried.

I'm seriously disappointed again. My bad experiences are all coming nack to me. That was why i din't wanna commit to organisation for the longest time. I was scared. Scared of being rejected. Scared of being disappointed. Confused by all the divisions.

Yes, i've failed others many times before also.
Guess...the most important thing i've learnt is that...
I must learn to be accountable and living for God and God alone.

I felt that at that point in time, my intentions weren't wrong.
I felt that they have crossed the line.
I felt that although there is truth in their concern but i feel that they shouldn't have made generalizations as well.

I thank them for their concern and stuff. But to question my elder sister and stuff when i already made all the measures to make sure we are accountable really steps over the line.

Now...
i am even afraid of meeting him.
I feel that everything i'll do with him. Even time spent will be wrong.
I just feel so confused now. I feel hurt and i am afraid that when i meet him, he'll be hurt because he thinks that it's his fault.
It's not your fault. I think it's more of mine.
Maybe i should have gone home with my elder sis.
But on the other hand, have you ever tot of the fact that my elder sis wasn't gonna attend in the 1st place? And we might have had plans?

If it really makes you guys happy. I'll make sure i don't spend time alone with him. I'll make sure i surround myself with a whole gang of people everytime i'm with him. Just because he is my bf and others are not.

I donno where this entry is heading. I just feel extremely hurt.
Even talking to my elder sis and him is difficult now.
I feel guilty for having to put them through this.

I should find a hole to bury myself soon. So...no one will be dragged down by my actions. (good intentions as they were)

I never seem to please anyone. Or rather...everyone.

2007-08-07T12:12:00.000+08:00

I tend to be easily attached to people.
The cause of my happiness. The cause of my heartaches also.

I must learn slowly but surely that man will fail me. I will fail to meet expectations of people.
But...
God will never fail me.
And with the testimonies of the many great christians that have led blameless and meaningful lives. And with the ever flowing encouragements and agape love from God, i'll run my race well.

I'll learn to pick myself up when things fail and i fall.
For God is always there to hold me. Like a safety net and the arms of your parents when you learn to walk first steps.

I'll learn to put God first.

As quoted by Ivy:
It doesn't matter what my CAP is,
what matters is who my God is.

Isaiah 33:22 (NLT)
For the Lord is our judge,
our lawgiver, and our king.
He will care for us and save us.

1 Corinthians 9:24-27
24 Don’t you realize that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize? So run to win!
25 All athletes are disciplined in their training. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize.
26 So I run with purpose in every step. I am not just shadowboxing.
27 I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.

2007-08-06T02:36:00.000+08:00

Yesterday, i went to post encounter and service just like any normal sunday.
...

Okay, maybe not exactly.
1stly, i asked keng soon to ask Jian Hui for his blessing for me and him. Being his spiritual father, i felt that he needs to be informed that we are together. Hmmm... Also because since Anthea (my spiritual ma) knows, why not Jian Hui. Oh ya, accountability also plays a big part.

2ndly, the message during post encounter and service really spoke to me. The part about self-esteem and stuff. And also about believing that one can make a difference.

3rdly, during cell, Anthea's question really made me think about how can we seek God 1st in our lives. Cool cell grp. And yes, cell members..i got the hint abt the cookies. I'll try to bake next sunday since next sunday post encounter is only for guys. (* note: don spoil the cell members too much) LOL

Also...
I've learnt to realli LOVE my cell grp.
Flaws and all.
Comes as a package.

I'm warming up to them.
Slowly, surely and prayerfully
I hope that i'll one day feel totally at home. *with my spiritual family

2007-07-31T22:01:00.000+08:00

Looking forward to jasmine's supposedly birthday outing.
Hope it comes soon.
Well...for now, it's harry pottering for me =)

2007-07-30T01:24:00.000+08:00

I've been doing mostly canoe stuff recently.

Post encounter lessons are up and i'm determined to complete them. =)

I want to proceed to SOLs...if my cell leader and etc feel that i am able tat is...

I don't wanna be a girl who wants to serve but always cheat God by saying "i have no time" anymore.

After all, i made God the promise that i will...

Anyway, yst's matric fair decoration was superb. My com peeps were very nice and VERY spontaneous.

Hmmm...tuition's with the kid was posponed for a week cause i totally forgot about post encounter. Thank God for my elder sister. Looking forward to tuition. Without her tuition, i won't have revised my chem so dilligently. Thank God for her too.

Hmmm...My pay for OCR is out.Thank God for tat too.

My daddy's coming home..today around 8am. =)

My counsins over at Cananda sent us gifts. Soooo nice of them. I LOVE Canadian clothes. Well, at least for once in my life, i can fit in small size.

I'm looking forward to moving in Ridge View Residences. Thank God for the opportunity also.

My dearest Serene called recently. I had been wanting to. Think God really reads which i am thinking. =)

I miss my uni usual peeps i see... Like sam sam and etc.

Oh ya, not to mention...

I MISS MY JC CLIQUE!!! We went for dinner recently at NYDC in orchard.

Xueling, me, jasmine, vee, marilyn, sharon

School's starting soon. Before school starts. There is (of course) the dreaded bidding and the moving in process.

There is also the...

Corrinne may concert on 3rd august and the swimming trip with pam, sam, anthea, sam's sis etc this tues. I also need to go down to school this wednesday for some module affairs.

Wish me luck!!! Or rather, may God bless me =) I'm reading harry potter last book...will update more about matric fair later. TATA!~